So the other day I had a session with my shrink, Dr. Betty Crocker, and she informed me that I apparently have a funny little foot fetish for women's feet.Â I think I may need to find another doctor.
Out of complete boredom, have you ever just made something up while talking to people?Â I use to do that when I was Catholic and confessing to my priest and, as you could imagine, that use to get me in a whole lot of trouble.Â On one occasion the priest actually consider performing an exorcism on my behalf.Â Rather than tell him I was simply pulling sins out of my ass, I opted instead for a couple dozen Hail Marys and twenty or thirty Our Fathers.Â Whew!
Anyway, for whatever reason I told my shrink that I didnâ€™t understand why some women really pamper their feet and others donâ€™t.Â Some women trim their toenails, clean the toe jelly out, clip the hair and paint them up nice while others are content to allow their feet to look like Frodoâ€™s from The Hobbit.
No sooner than I said that, she caught me looking down at her feet which happened to look just like Frodoâ€™s.Â Oops.
Coincidentally, it was right at that moment that the good doctor began to scold me and tell me how my â€śfoot fetishâ€ť was clearly a sign of my inability to have intimate, meaningful relationships with women.Â Then she slipped off her shoes and attacked me with the longest, sharpest pair of toesnails I had ever seen.Â It was like fight club with feet and I was at a serious disadvantage.
The cuts I received by Dr. Crocker are healing nicely but I do have reoccurring nightmares and the site of nail polish now tends to make me a little queasy.
Now Iâ€™m not saying I have a foot fetish and you can bet Iâ€™ll never bring up the subject again with â€śLethal feet Betty.â€ťÂ But if I did have a thing for feet, Iâ€™d be in good company.Â Here are a few people alleged to have foot fetishes:
â€˘Â Â Â Tommy Lee
â€˘Â Â Â Ludacris
â€˘Â Â Â Marilyn Manson
â€˘Â Â Â Ricky Martin
â€˘Â Â Â Rosie O'Donnell
â€˘Â Â Â Elvis Presley
â€˘Â Â Â Alex Rodriguez
â€˘Â Â Â Christian Slater
â€˘Â Â Â Britney Spears
â€˘Â Â Â Quentin Tarantino
â€˘Â Â Â Andy Warhol
In any event, Iâ€™d like to hear from the ladies out there on why you do or do not pamper your feet and if you're a member of a local feet Kung Fu fight club.