Hey Ladies - Tiger is Single
It’s official. Elin Nordegren and Tiger “I’m really horny” Woods are divorced. So ladies… if you felt left out because you were the only one Tiger didn’t have an affair with, now is your chance.
As my millions of readers well know, I too had an affair with “Woody” (my secret nickname for him). You can read about it here in case you missed it. But now I’m glad to know more women will no doubt be able to experience “The Woody” like I did.
Elin and Woody released a joint statement via their bloodsucking lawyers stating, “We are sad that our marriage is over and we wish each other the very best for the future.” Uh, right. I have it from an extremely unreliable source that Swedish-born Elin has told her friends in her native tongue, “Jag är så glad att jag inte behöver göra korvmackor med crusts avskuren för den mannen längre.” Loosely translated it means, “I'm so glad I don't have to make bologna sandwiches with the crusts cut off for that man anymore.”
As he and I were once lovers, I don’t feel comfortable judging Woody but you have to admit there is something wrong with a man who is not satisfied with a hot, loving blonde from Sweden. C’mon… seriously!
Erin, call me. And don’t worry… I hate bologna sandwiches but love Swedish meatballs.