span class="Apple-style-span" style=" ;font-family:Helvetica;font-size:medium;"1) What's the difference between a car and a golf ball? Tiger can drive a ball 400 yards.br /br /2) Tiger Woods crashed into a fire hydrant and a tree. He couldn't decide between a wood and an iron.br /br /3) What does Tiger have in common with a baby seal? They've both been clubbed by a Swede.br /br /4) Apparently the police asked Tiger's wife how many times she hit him. She said "I don't know exactly... but put me down for a 5."br /br /5) Phil Mickelson contacted Tiger's wife to pick up some tips on how to beat him.br /br /6) Seems he forgot his Daddy's profound advice, "Tiger, you'll never be successful until you learn to play one hole at a time."br /br /7) What did Elin say right after she clubbed him? "Don't even try to tell me I bent my elbow...!"br /br /8) Of course, he blamed it on a problem with his Escalade. Whenever a golfer hits a tree, he blames it on his Caddie./spandivspan class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:Helvetica, serif;"span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:medium;"br //span/span/divdivspan class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:Helvetica, serif;"span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:medium;"9) I hear that Tiger is changing his name to Cheetah!/span/span/div
divThis is ridiculously interesting to me. My wife is working on some fundraising for the Austin Childrens Museum. They have their Gala this weekend and they have done something incredibly cool. They got some celebrities, local and national, to sign their favorite childrens book to be auctioned off. I was looking at the books that had been signed. Including Curious George signed by George Bush! Well, you know the pop star Fergie, of the Black Eyed Peas? And of course mega star in her own right. She signed the inside of a Book and you HAVE to see it. It's as if she has created her own language. I've scanned the front of the book and what she wrote inside. See if you can read it. br //divdivbr //diva onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/_dHmav2z1o1o/SfZeDgJlKNI/AAAAAAAAGwo/PwfpCn3wKh4/s1600-h/Fergie+handwriting.jpg"img style="display:block; margin:0px auto 10px; text-align:center;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 158px; height: 200px;" src="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/_dHmav2z1o1o/SfZeDgJlKNI/AAAAAAAAGwo/PwfpCn3wKh4/s200/Fergie+handwriting.jpg" border="0" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5329550623302297810" //abr /br /divbr /a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/_dHmav2z1o1o/SfZdNK6ORgI/AAAAAAAAGwY/cfkG6EM9f6c/s1600-h/Fergie+book+cover.jpg"img style="display:block; margin:0px auto 10px; text-align:center;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 176px; height: 200px;" src="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/_dHmav2z1o1o/SfZdNK6ORgI/AAAAAAAAGwY/cfkG6EM9f6c/s200/Fergie+book+cover.jpg" border="0" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5329549689887802882" //adivspan class="Apple-style-span" style="color: rgb(0, 0, 238); "br /div style="text-align: center;"br //div/span/divThe Children' Museum Gala (Imaginarium) is this Saturday at 7:00 at the Historic Browning Hangar at Mueller. People can find out more at the Austin Children's Museum website www.austinkids.org and click on Imaginariumbr /br /br /Below is the list of celebrity signed books:br /br /Peter Gardere The Tale of Peter Rabbitbr /Lance Armstrong Where the Sidewalk Endsbr /Nolan Ryan The Boy Who Saved Baseballbr /Mack Brown Where the Sidewalk Ends , Goodnight Moonbr /Sheryl Crow Guess How Much I Love Youbr /Rich Beem Peter Panbr /Kathey Valentine Stand Tall Molly Lou Melonbr /Ray Benson The Big Book of the Berenstain Bearsbr /Donald Trump Where The Sidewalk Endsbr /Donald Trump Jr. Green Eggs and Hambr /Ivanca Trump Corduroybr /Molly Sims Love You Forever, Harold and the Purple Crayonbr /Fergie The Duchess Bakes a Cakebr /Justin Chatwin Where the Wild Things Arebr /Josh Duhamel Oh The Place You Will Gobr /Bradley Cooper The Giving Treebr /Jimmie Vaughn An Island Called Libertybr /George W. Bush Curious Georgebr /Laura amp; Jenna Bush Read All About Itbr /Rick Barnes J is for Jumpshotbr /br //div
This is ridiculously interesting to me. My wife is working on some fundraising for the Austin Childrens Museum. They have their Gala this weekend and they have done something incredibly cool. They got some celebrities, local and national, to sign their favorite childrens book to be auctioned off. I was looking at the books that had been signed. Including Curious George signed by George Bush! Well, you know the pop star Fergie, of the Black Eyed Peas? And of course mega star in her own right. She signed the inside of a Book and you HAVE to see it. It's as if she has created her own language. I've scanned the front of the book and what she wrote inside. See if you can read it.Â
The Children' Museum Gala (Imaginarium) is this Saturday at 7:00 at the Historic Browning Hangar at Mueller. People can find out more at the Austin Children's Museum website www.austinkids.org and click on Imaginarium
Below is the list of celebrity signed books:
Peter Gardere The Tale of Peter Rabbit Lance Armstrong Where the Sidewalk Ends Nolan Ryan The Boy Who Saved Baseball Mack Brown Where the Sidewalk Ends , Goodnight Moon Sheryl Crow Guess How Much I Love You Rich Beem Peter Pan Kathey Valentine Stand Tall Molly Lou Melon Ray Benson The Big Book of the Berenstain Bears Donald Trump Where The Sidewalk Ends Donald Trump Jr. Green Eggs and Ham Ivanca Trump Corduroy Molly Sims Love You Forever, Harold and the Purple Crayon Fergie The Duchess Bakes a Cake Justin Chatwin Where the Wild Things Are Josh Duhamel Oh The Place You Will Go Bradley Cooper The Giving Tree Jimmie Vaughn An Island Called Liberty George W. Bush Curious George Laura & Jenna Bush Read All About It Rick Barnes J is for Jumpshot
divRemember all the Colby Donaldson craze from the second Season of Survivor? That's Bess who worked with us for about a year. Maybe we didn't do so well in Dallas because there is absolutely NOTHING on our "Plan it" board behind us./divdivbr //diva onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/_dHmav2z1o1o/SYwqr2FfSeI/AAAAAAAAGkE/o5pCqAdDwa4/s1600-h/colby08.jpg"img style="display:block; margin:0px auto 10px; text-align:center;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 200px; height: 150px;" src="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/_dHmav2z1o1o/SYwqr2FfSeI/AAAAAAAAGkE/o5pCqAdDwa4/s200/colby08.jpg" border="0" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5299657794249509346" //a
Remember all the Colby Donaldson craze from the second Season of Survivor? That's Bess who worked with us for about a year. Maybe we didn't do so well in Dallas because there is absolutely NOTHING on our "Plan it" board behind us.
divNeed some inspiration? Pick up Gilbert's book "This Voice in my Heart". Think you're having a bad day? You'll think otherwise after reading this book. Gilbert is a true inspiration to many Austinites. His enthusiasm for running and life in contagious. /divdivbr //diva onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/_dHmav2z1o1o/SRjXNPIXiwI/AAAAAAAAE5Y/DJbDt5qYOKU/s1600-h/CIMG3675.JPG"img style="display:block; margin:0px auto 10px; text-align:center;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 200px; height: 150px;" src="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/_dHmav2z1o1o/SRjXNPIXiwI/AAAAAAAAE5Y/DJbDt5qYOKU/s200/CIMG3675.JPG" border="0" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5267196386609695490" //a
Need some inspiration? Pick up Gilbert's book "This Voice in my Heart". Think you're having a bad day? You'll think otherwise after reading this book. Gilbert is a true inspiration to many Austinites. His enthusiasm for running and life in contagious.Â
divOne of my favorite artists of all time, Shawn Mullins dropped by the studio. Â Remember his hits, "shimmer" and "lullaby". Pick up his new cd Honeydew and anything else of his you are missing. It's some of the best stuff out there./divdivbr //diva onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/_dHmav2z1o1o/SRjWnXITt9I/AAAAAAAAE5Q/9xGNDydXSzY/s1600-h/CIMG3666.JPG"img style="display:block; margin:0px auto 10px; text-align:center;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 200px; height: 150px;" src="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/_dHmav2z1o1o/SRjWnXITt9I/AAAAAAAAE5Q/9xGNDydXSzY/s200/CIMG3666.JPG" border="0" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5267195735921899474" //a
One of my favorite artists of all time, Shawn Mullins dropped by the studio. Â Remember his hits, "shimmer" and "lullaby". Pick up his new cd Honeydew and anything else of his you are missing. It's some of the best stuff out there.
divLong weekend and I completely overbooked myself. My dad was in town from Chicago and it was my mothers birthday. My mom and dad are not together, since about the early 70's, so you can imagine the juggling act. I completely ran out of steam and didn't do the ride on Sunday. I usually don't ride on Sundays but I woke up at 5:30 to head to Dripping Springs and do the ride and realized and just didn't have it in me. I went back to bed for a much needed 4 more hours of sleep. I knew I needed to take my dad and his wife to lunch and the airport, then head to my moms. It all worked out o.k. I hated to miss the Sunday ride, but I got to do the most unbelievable ride on Sat. Every year my cycling team helps out the LAF by doing support for the Peleton Ride. These are the big fund raisers for the LAF and they get their chance to ride and be photographed with Lance. My team rode out to Mandola Winery, hauling ass, which just about killed me. Two really fast paced hours on the bike. We rode with two groups. The first raised over 10k. I rode helping out two women in the back named Susan and Deb. They are about my age and have been best friends since the third grade. They both went to elementary and high school together, then later to KU in Kansas together. They live across the country from each other but have remained best friends. Susan has been fighting cancer for a long time and Deb was there in support of her. We had a great time chatting and they finished last, but finished their ride. I really enjoyed chatting with them. /divdivIn the second group, all that had raised over 30k this year, I ended up looking out for an 8 year old named Max. I remember Max from a previous year when I rode with him and his dad. This year, Max was riding with his uncle. His dad has had an inoperable brain tumor for 10 years and is a real fighter.  Max ran the 5k on Sat morning and his goal was to ride with Lance and do at least 5 miles. We had a couple of big hills in Dripping Springs and Max did it all. His uncle took off near the end to get his photo op with Lance so Max and I got to ride the last two miles together. I broke my heart to know that this little guy will most likely lose his father in '09. I'm sure I'll see him again next year. I am grateful that I got to ride with him and his uncle. Their sister was just diagnosed with breast cancer and had surgery last week. I'm sure Max had his aunt on his mind this weekend too. See Max pictured here:/divdivbr //diva onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/_dHmav2z1o1o/SQUf-d0NkGI/AAAAAAAAEsc/2b0rwW6jLPI/s1600-h/CIMG3639.JPG"img style="display:block; margin:0px auto 10px; text-align:center;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 200px; height: 150px;" src="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/_dHmav2z1o1o/SQUf-d0NkGI/AAAAAAAAEsc/2b0rwW6jLPI/s200/CIMG3639.JPG" border="0" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5261646897668264034" //aThis pic is of me and Davis Phinney. Davis is a living legend in American cycling. He was winning big European races in the 80's when there wasn't much love or support for American cyclists. Davis is fighting his own battle with Parkinson's. He shows up every year to support LAF. He's a bit shakey when he's just standing there, but smooth as butter on the bike. Find out more about him at a href="http://www.blogger.com/www.davisphinneyfoundation.com"www.davisphinneyfoundation.com/abr /a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/_dHmav2z1o1o/SQUf-CI5neI/AAAAAAAAEsU/0OXA4-STSCw/s1600-h/CIMG3637.JPG"img style="display:block; margin:0px auto 10px; text-align:center;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 200px; height: 150px;" src="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/_dHmav2z1o1o/SQUf-CI5neI/AAAAAAAAEsU/0OXA4-STSCw/s200/CIMG3637.JPG" border="0" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5261646890238844386" //aHere is a picture of some of the big fundraisers there for their private ride with LAF.  This is John from my team giving them the rundown on how the ride with Lance will go. We try to make sure everyone gets their pic on the bike with Lance. Pbr /a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/_dHmav2z1o1o/SQUf9Zps9zI/AAAAAAAAEsM/D0vLnw4MQpM/s1600-h/CIMG3633.JPG"img style="display:block; margin:0px auto 10px; text-align:center;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 200px; height: 150px;" src="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/_dHmav2z1o1o/SQUf9Zps9zI/AAAAAAAAEsM/D0vLnw4MQpM/s200/CIMG3633.JPG" border="0" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5261646879370573618" //a
Long weekend and I completely overbooked myself. My dad was in town from Chicago and it was my mothers birthday. My mom and dad are not together, since about the early 70's, so you can imagine the juggling act. I completely ran out of steam and didn't do the ride on Sunday. I usually don't ride on Sundays but I woke up at 5:30 to head to Dripping Springs and do the ride and realized and just didn't have it in me. I went back to bed for a much needed 4 more hours of sleep. I knew I needed to take my dad and his wife to lunch and the airport, then head to my moms. It all worked out o.k. I hated to miss the Sunday ride, but I got to do the most unbelievable ride on Sat. Every year my cycling team helps out the LAF by doing support for the Peleton Ride. These are the big fund raisers for the LAF and they get their chance to ride and be photographed with Lance. My team rode out to Mandola Winery, hauling ass, which just about killed me. Two really fast paced hours on the bike. We rode with two groups. The first raised over 10k. I rode helping out two women in the back named Susan and Deb. They are about my age and have been best friends since the third grade. They both went to elementary and high school together, then later to KU in Kansas together. They live across the country from each other but have remained best friends. Susan has been fighting cancer for a long time and Deb was there in support of her. We had a great time chatting and they finished last, but finished their ride. I really enjoyed chatting with them.Â
In the second group, all that had raised over 30k this year, I ended up looking out for an 8 year old named Max. I remember Max from a previous year when I rode with him and his dad. This year, Max was riding with his uncle. His dad has had an inoperable brain tumor for 10 years and is a real fighter.  Max ran the 5k on Sat morning and his goal was to ride with Lance and do at least 5 miles. We had a couple of big hills in Dripping Springs and Max did it all. His uncle took off near the end to get his photo op with Lance so Max and I got to ride the last two miles together. I broke my heart to know that this little guy will most likely lose his father in '09. I'm sure I'll see him again next year. I am grateful that I got to ride with him and his uncle. Their sister was just diagnosed with breast cancer and had surgery last week. I'm sure Max had his aunt on his mind this weekend too. See Max pictured here:
This pic is of me and Davis Phinney. Davis is a living legend in American cycling. He was winning big European races in the 80's when there wasn't much love or support for American cyclists. Davis is fighting his own battle with Parkinson's. He shows up every year to support LAF. He's a bit shakey when he's just standing there, but smooth as butter on the bike. Find out more about him at www.davisphinneyfoundation.com Here is a picture of some of the big fundraisers there for their private ride with LAF. Â This is John from my team giving them the rundown on how the ride with Lance will go. We try to make sure everyone gets their pic on the bike with Lance. P
divBelow is my September article for a href="http://www.rareaustin.com"Rare Magazine. /a/divdivenjoy... jb/divdivbr //divI imagine that most students today are tired of hearing how hard it âused to beâ. âWe didnât have computers, the internet, blah, blah, blahâ. Iâll admit. I fantasize about what it would be like to be in college today. Could you imagine the possibilites? If you are about my age, you remember that we didnât have cell phones and we would sign up for computer lab just to write a paper. Now, your syllabus and class notes are all online. Your fellow students are easy to track down via myspace and facebook. Answers are just a google search away and getting laid is just a few flirty text messages in front of you. Itâs the best of both worlds, your school work is easier and your social life it lined up for you online. Right?br /br /Wrong! Iâve come full circle on my opinion of students today. You guys have it rough. Much harder than any of us could imagine. I really started thinking about all of the things that are out there to distract you from your studies. I realize that had those things been at my disposal when I was a student, accomplishing anything would be impossible. I was a bad enough student back in the day. To try to pull it off today⦠impossible.br /br /Letâs start with all the distractions on your phone. The more and more phones become like computers, the more trouble youâre in. The time wasting, the web browsing. I canât imagine how much time the average student spends text messaging with their friends. Email is becoming the standard on a phone/pda. When are you ever alone? Never. Youâre always a buzzing phone away from catching up on gossip or being invited out with friends. To me, the biggest distraction from being a good student would be text message flirting. I would have been ALL OVER THIS. Thank goodness Iâm now old enough, married and have some success at managing my libido. At 21, it would have been GAME ON. If any girls were foolish enough to give me their cell phone numbers, the text message flirting would have started at about 6pm and not quit until I found one of them at at a bar having had too much to drink. Vodka and text messaging are a wonderful and amazing combination, but bad for studying.br /br /T.V. has hit a whole new level of preoccupation. I donât recall television being that big of a factor as I was growing up. It was nice, sometimes entertaining, but it didnât posses all the guilty pleasures it does today. Everyone I know has at least one guilty pleasure reality show. Have you noticed how many of these shows are targeted right at high school and college students? Back in the day I had to have my fill of Letterman or SNL, but these days, who canât fall victim to a marathon of The Hills, Miami Ink, The Girls Next Door, Americaâs Next Top Model, Celebrity Intervention, Rock of Love or I Love New York? T.V. has gotten so meaningless and trashy, but undeniably pleasurable, definitely a distraction from Biology.br /br /I donât even know where to start with computers. I think we all know what a huge diversion they are to every day living. Weâre all lead to believe that this might be the greatest, most essential tool for a student today, but itâs probably the opposite. I think back to the people and ran around with in college. Had they had the internet at their disposal like students today, most of them would have never graduated. I would say that at least a quarter of them would have quit going to class and took up day trading full time. Another quarter would have been too tired to go to class because they were up all night gambling online. Another twenty five percent of the people I knew in college would have been starting an online business of some sort, in an effort to get rich quick. The rest of the guys I knew would have been addicted to internet porn and never left the house. Think about that the next time you set foot in an all-male dorm.br /br /My point is. Think about how much time you waste with your phone, television and computers. Imagine having that pressure when you were a student. Throw on top of that the same distractions we had when we were student, primarily alcohol and sex. You still have the age old pressures of Cain and Ables, Posse East and Sixth Street. How does anyone ever make it to class or how does a research paper ever get written?br /br /I commend any of you that are reading this and able to focus on your studies long enough to make the grades. I really donât know how you do it. There are far too many distractions in day to day life for ANY student to ever succeed. In fact, any student who is completely able to focus on their studies gives me the creeps. There must be something wrong with you because our technological advances are just plain fun, dirty and time wasting! Next time you are thinking about studying a little English literature, instead try a little myspace, facebook, jump on ebay. When you research paper is due Psych class, instead see whatâs up on linkedin, Perez Hilton, or punch up a quick âcasual encounterâ on Craiglist. Got lab or group study time? Fire up the Playstation or Wii.br /br /If any of you students are getting a hard time and a lecture from your parents about how easy you have it and how it âused to beâ, try this. Grab you mom by the arm, march her over the computer and take her to smartbargains.com or even worse, neimanmarcus.com and ask her if she could focus on reading a chapter of Anthropology. If your dad gives you the same grief, grab him by the ear, pull him over to the computer and show him youporn.com and ask him âDid you have THIS when you were in school?â I think they theyâll understand.
I imagine that most students today are tired of hearing how hard it âused to beâ. âWe didnât have computers, the internet, blah, blah, blahâ. Iâll admit. I fantasize about what it would be like to be in college today. Could you imagine the possibilites? If you are about my age, you remember that we didnât have cell phones and we would sign up for computer lab just to write a paper. Now, your syllabus and class notes are all online. Your fellow students are easy to track down via myspace and facebook. Answers are just a google search away and getting laid is just a few flirty text messages in front of you. Itâs the best of both worlds, your school work is easier and your social life it lined up for you online. Right?
Wrong! Iâve come full circle on my opinion of students today. You guys have it rough. Much harder than any of us could imagine. I really started thinking about all of the things that are out there to distract you from your studies. I realize that had those things been at my disposal when I was a student, accomplishing anything would be impossible. I was a bad enough student back in the day. To try to pull it off today⦠impossible.
Letâs start with all the distractions on your phone. The more and more phones become like computers, the more trouble youâre in. The time wasting, the web browsing. I canât imagine how much time the average student spends text messaging with their friends. Email is becoming the standard on a phone/pda. When are you ever alone? Never. Youâre always a buzzing phone away from catching up on gossip or being invited out with friends. To me, the biggest distraction from being a good student would be text message flirting. I would have been ALL OVER THIS. Thank goodness Iâm now old enough, married and have some success at managing my libido. At 21, it would have been GAME ON. If any girls were foolish enough to give me their cell phone numbers, the text message flirting would have started at about 6pm and not quit until I found one of them at at a bar having had too much to drink. Vodka and text messaging are a wonderful and amazing combination, but bad for studying.
T.V. has hit a whole new level of preoccupation. I donât recall television being that big of a factor as I was growing up. It was nice, sometimes entertaining, but it didnât posses all the guilty pleasures it does today. Everyone I know has at least one guilty pleasure reality show. Have you noticed how many of these shows are targeted right at high school and college students? Back in the day I had to have my fill of Letterman or SNL, but these days, who canât fall victim to a marathon of The Hills, Miami Ink, The Girls Next Door, Americaâs Next Top Model, Celebrity Intervention, Rock of Love or I Love New York? T.V. has gotten so meaningless and trashy, but undeniably pleasurable, definitely a distraction from Biology.
I donât even know where to start with computers. I think we all know what a huge diversion they are to every day living. Weâre all lead to believe that this might be the greatest, most essential tool for a student today, but itâs probably the opposite. I think back to the people and ran around with in college. Had they had the internet at their disposal like students today, most of them would have never graduated. I would say that at least a quarter of them would have quit going to class and took up day trading full time. Another quarter would have been too tired to go to class because they were up all night gambling online. Another twenty five percent of the people I knew in college would have been starting an online business of some sort, in an effort to get rich quick. The rest of the guys I knew would have been addicted to internet porn and never left the house. Think about that the next time you set foot in an all-male dorm.
My point is. Think about how much time you waste with your phone, television and computers. Imagine having that pressure when you were a student. Throw on top of that the same distractions we had when we were student, primarily alcohol and sex. You still have the age old pressures of Cain and Ables, Posse East and Sixth Street. How does anyone ever make it to class or how does a research paper ever get written?
I commend any of you that are reading this and able to focus on your studies long enough to make the grades. I really donât know how you do it. There are far too many distractions in day to day life for ANY student to ever succeed. In fact, any student who is completely able to focus on their studies gives me the creeps. There must be something wrong with you because our technological advances are just plain fun, dirty and time wasting! Next time you are thinking about studying a little English literature, instead try a little myspace, facebook, jump on ebay. When you research paper is due Psych class, instead see whatâs up on linkedin, Perez Hilton, or punch up a quick âcasual encounterâ on Craiglist. Got lab or group study time? Fire up the Playstation or Wii.
If any of you students are getting a hard time and a lecture from your parents about how easy you have it and how it âused to beâ, try this. Grab you mom by the arm, march her over the computer and take her to smartbargains.com or even worse, neimanmarcus.com and ask her if she could focus on reading a chapter of Anthropology. If your dad gives you the same grief, grab him by the ear, pull him over to the computer and show him youporn.com and ask him âDid you have THIS when you were in school?â I think they theyâll understand.
