I was once on over the top, organized, anal-retentive freak. You know, to the point where it was quite annoying. I was pressed, waxed and sporting a handheld label maker with pride. My apartment was always ready for guests on a moments notice. I could have it visitor ready during their elevator ride up to my place. I recall a time when April 15th would roll around and I could pull my files out of my desk, run a report on quicken and my taxes where done. If I needed a receipt for the purchase of a battery from three years ago, I could find it in a heartbeat. My wife remembers that guy and wonders where he went. I donât know where the old JB is, but I can tell you when he left. He departed on November 26th, 2001. This was the day that I became a father and my mind warped and my priorities changed. Parents, you know what Iâm talking about. Those of you who have not yet had children or are expecting, I am about to give you a glimpse into your future.br /br /Let me take you on a little visual tour of my house. Just to be clear and avoid us coming across as slobs, my house is always clean. You could eat off the floor. It just has the distinct markings that a child lives there. Next to our front door youâll always find my daughters backpack, jacket and shoes. Our daughter can slip them off in one fluid motion when she walks in the door. Our living room is filled with extreme toys. Next to our lounge chair is an electric scooter that is charging. Next to the sofa is an electric car that is also charging. On the kitchen table is an remote control helicopter this is, you guessed it, charging. It seems every outlet is filled with a charger of some sort for portable dvd, ipods, DS Nitinendo or something. Whenever we sit on the sofa something needs to be moved, a pogo stick, hulk gloves or possibly and critter from outdoors, being held against itâs will. br /br /I always envisioned a quite office where I could find solitude. Itâs become the most chaotic room in the house. My office has become the office/playroom/family room/exercise room. The shelves meant to organize my work, taxes, books are filled with dinosaurs, board games, and puzzles. Itâs not uncommon to be working in the wee hours of the morning, the only time I am alone, only to have Squeeky the hamster cruise across my keyboard. The exercise equipment that âfolds for easy storageâ has lost its motivation to fold and store. At least itâs being used. On our tour, I can take you quickly from the family room to the bathroom because we have our choice of transportation available anywhere you look; skateboards, bikes, stilts. The bathroom is filled with gimmicks to entertain. When you pull back the shower curtain you literally canât see the bottom of the tub. Itâs a porcelain toy box of squirt guns, dolphins, mermaids and animal shaped bath gels. When I was growing up I donât recall needing scuba gear.br /br /Outside our home isnât much different. We have a small yard filled with nerfs, balls, bats, kites and inflatableâs. Not being much of a judge of size while ordering online, I apparently purchased the largest trampoline known to mankind. You open the door, walk to the end of the deck and all you see is my Ringling Brothers approved larger than life trampoline, leaving no yard whatsoever. Oh well, less mowing. Iâm not sure if our garage is organized or not. Itâs more of a magical David Copperfield sort of trick. Itâs really a mess but itâs all on the ceiling. Using every imaginable hook, shelf and pulley known available at Home Depot, Iâve managed to hang upside down every outdoor sports mechanism you can imagine; a Canoe, tent, surfboard, or fishing gear. What I basically have is an upside down REI. If you can find the right rope you are welcome to borrow anything you like. If you grab the wrong rope, they all come tumbling down.br /br /As crazy and chaotic as this all sounds, itâs also comforting. To walk into our home and find everything perfectly stowed away wouldnât feel right. I fully expect to walk up to the front door with the dog scratching at the glass, as if I hadnât been home in years, even though I just went to the mailbox. I expect the place to look as if a seven year old is loving every minute of being seven in this home, just as they did at six, five, and so on. Dinner wouldnât be the same if there werenât rubber frogs in the chair and fake poo on the table. I wouldnât know what to think if a dvd was actually in the correct case, or in a case at all. br /br /Priorities change when kids start taking those first steps. Itâs almost sad when we box up a years worth of her favorite toys and take it to our storage building, something I said I would NEVER have. We pull out a jumbo marker and write âRaleigh age oneâ and so on accordingly each year. She only gets to be a kid once and I hope she remembers how fun this house was. We always wanted it to be a creative, inspiring place to learn even if it meant mommy and daddy would have army men and jacks permanently embedded in their feet. There will always be plenty of time later in life to return to the old JB, but I donât miss him for now.br /br /I would like to make one last stop on our tour. I would like to show you my car but unfortunately melted crayons have jammed the doorlocks. But if you look inside and to the left youâll see a lovely design made of crushed goldfishâ¦
I was once on over the top, organized, anal-retentive freak. You know, to the point where it was quite annoying. I was pressed, waxed and sporting a handheld label maker with pride. My apartment was always ready for guests on a moments notice. I could have it visitor ready during their elevator ride up to my place. I recall a time when April 15th would roll around and I could pull my files out of my desk, run a report on quicken and my taxes where done. If I needed a receipt for the purchase of a battery from three years ago, I could find it in a heartbeat. My wife remembers that guy and wonders where he went. I donât know where the old JB is, but I can tell you when he left. He departed on November 26th, 2001. This was the day that I became a father and my mind warped and my priorities changed. Parents, you know what Iâm talking about. Those of you who have not yet had children or are expecting, I am about to give you a glimpse into your future.
Let me take you on a little visual tour of my house. Just to be clear and avoid us coming across as slobs, my house is always clean. You could eat off the floor. It just has the distinct markings that a child lives there. Next to our front door youâll always find my daughters backpack, jacket and shoes. Our daughter can slip them off in one fluid motion when she walks in the door. Our living room is filled with extreme toys. Next to our lounge chair is an electric scooter that is charging. Next to the sofa is an electric car that is also charging. On the kitchen table is an remote control helicopter this is, you guessed it, charging. It seems every outlet is filled with a charger of some sort for portable dvd, ipods, DS Nitinendo or something. Whenever we sit on the sofa something needs to be moved, a pogo stick, hulk gloves or possibly and critter from outdoors, being held against itâs will.
I always envisioned a quite office where I could find solitude. Itâs become the most chaotic room in the house. My office has become the office/playroom/family room/exercise room. The shelves meant to organize my work, taxes, books are filled with dinosaurs, board games, and puzzles. Itâs not uncommon to be working in the wee hours of the morning, the only time I am alone, only to have Squeeky the hamster cruise across my keyboard. The exercise equipment that âfolds for easy storageâ has lost its motivation to fold and store. At least itâs being used. On our tour, I can take you quickly from the family room to the bathroom because we have our choice of transportation available anywhere you look; skateboards, bikes, stilts. The bathroom is filled with gimmicks to entertain. When you pull back the shower curtain you literally canât see the bottom of the tub. Itâs a porcelain toy box of squirt guns, dolphins, mermaids and animal shaped bath gels. When I was growing up I donât recall needing scuba gear.
Outside our home isnât much different. We have a small yard filled with nerfs, balls, bats, kites and inflatableâs. Not being much of a judge of size while ordering online, I apparently purchased the largest trampoline known to mankind. You open the door, walk to the end of the deck and all you see is my Ringling Brothers approved larger than life trampoline, leaving no yard whatsoever. Oh well, less mowing. Iâm not sure if our garage is organized or not. Itâs more of a magical David Copperfield sort of trick. Itâs really a mess but itâs all on the ceiling. Using every imaginable hook, shelf and pulley known available at Home Depot, Iâve managed to hang upside down every outdoor sports mechanism you can imagine; a Canoe, tent, surfboard, or fishing gear. What I basically have is an upside down REI. If you can find the right rope you are welcome to borrow anything you like. If you grab the wrong rope, they all come tumbling down.
As crazy and chaotic as this all sounds, itâs also comforting. To walk into our home and find everything perfectly stowed away wouldnât feel right. I fully expect to walk up to the front door with the dog scratching at the glass, as if I hadnât been home in years, even though I just went to the mailbox. I expect the place to look as if a seven year old is loving every minute of being seven in this home, just as they did at six, five, and so on. Dinner wouldnât be the same if there werenât rubber frogs in the chair and fake poo on the table. I wouldnât know what to think if a dvd was actually in the correct case, or in a case at all.
Priorities change when kids start taking those first steps. Itâs almost sad when we box up a years worth of her favorite toys and take it to our storage building, something I said I would NEVER have. We pull out a jumbo marker and write âRaleigh age oneâ and so on accordingly each year. She only gets to be a kid once and I hope she remembers how fun this house was. We always wanted it to be a creative, inspiring place to learn even if it meant mommy and daddy would have army men and jacks permanently embedded in their feet. There will always be plenty of time later in life to return to the old JB, but I donât miss him for now.
I would like to make one last stop on our tour. I would like to show you my car but unfortunately melted crayons have jammed the doorlocks. But if you look inside and to the left youâll see a lovely design made of crushed goldfishâ¦
I can't believe it's already February. In case you missed it, here is the txt from my January article for a href="http://www.rareaustin.com/"Rare Magazine./a It will make you feel better if you have already stopped your new years resolutions of working out. If you want to see the magazine in PDF, including pics, click a href="http://issuu.com/raremagazine/docs/january2009"here:/adivbr //divdivbr /I just posted this ad on craigslist.br /br /Average adult white male looking for friends who want to share an average life.br /No sports. No running. No cycling. If you have a gym membership, need not apply. If you have a coach or take more than one vitamin, please move on. If in the past 24 hours you have made mention of your heart rate, metabolism, or body fat count, you are not for me.br /Do you ever find yourself sore from an evening of drinking, horseshoes, beer pong and general horseplay? You might be my new best friend. Please reply with all pertinent information, although Iâm dubious that such a person exist in Austin, Tx.br /br /O.k., I didnât really post this ad, but I am seriously considering firing all my friends and recruiting all new ones. Iâm not sure if itâs just my circle of friends or all of Austin is so fitness obsessed itâs ridiculous. Maybe I need to move to a less fit city. Houston is actually looking rather appealing, having been the top rated âfattest city in Americaâ in several recent years.br /br /Donât get me wrong. I like fitness. I only do it as a means to enjoy the finer things in life, like Stella Artois, Herradura or the holiday cheese Fiesta from Hickory Farms. It seems as if every year another close friend of mine becomes so fitness crazed they are about as fun as Al Gore at the Burning Man Festival. Itâs annoying. Itâs as if they have joined a cult. They lose all social skills and become little nutrition robots. Unless you are getting paid to do a sport, it should never define you. If you are known as Bob the Triathlete, and youâve never won a dollar doing it, someone needs to bludgeon you with a warhammer! br /br /Iâve come up with an official fitness freak loser test. Again, this does not apply to those who get paid for sport, purely amateurs. Answer yes or no to the following questions.br /br /1. My profile picture on myspace, facebook, etc⦠is me participating in a sport.br /2. I have a printed photo of myself larger than 5x7 participating in sports hanging in my house.br /3. I wonât have a beer the evening before a race although I typically come in somewhere after 3,000th place each year in the Capital 10k.br /4. I have used tape, lube or band aids to to prevent chaffing on my reproductive organs.br /5. I have a collection of my event number pin-onâs and or bracelets displayed somewhere in my home.br /6. I have talked to my nutritionist, coach and massage therapist all in the same day.br /7. I have a tattoo related to my sport of choice somewhere on my body.br /8. I am concerned about the color of my pee.br /9. I have turned down nookie because it was within 24 hrs of an event.br /10. I laugh at fitness infomercials instead of thinking âHey, the Pubic Shockerâmight be just what I need.br /br /If you answered no to all of these, I love you. You are my new best friend.br /If you answered yes to 1 or 2 of these, itâs good to see you are taking care of yourself. Drop a workout once in awhile and go tubing on the Guadalupe or something.br /If you answered yes to 3-5 of these, itâs really time to get yourself in check, stop wearing Pilates pants to lunch.br /If you answered yes to 6 or more, you are a sick F#@$. Get help a.s.a.p. You are annoying and no one wants be around you. Youâre probably too busy weighing your food or rubbing Tiger Balm on your ass to even read this.br /br /There was a time when I would have answered yes to more than 6 of these questions. What an annoying human being I must have been. Why didnât an innocent bystander beat me up? I could have used it. I am officially done sharing my athletic endeavors with innocent bystanders.br /br /The joke used to be on the guy who couldnât let go of his sports prowess in the past, much like Uncle Rico in Napoleon Dynamite. Now I think the joke is on the adult who canât let go of their future accomplishments. No one cares if you are planning an Ironman, Iditarod and Base Jump in Dubai in January. WE DONâT CARE!!!!br /br /br /br //div
I can't believe it's already February. In case you missed it, here is the txt from my January article for Rare Magazine. It will make you feel better if you have already stopped your new years resolutions of working out. If you want to see the magazine in PDF, including pics, click here:
I just posted this ad on craigslist.
Average adult white male looking for friends who want to share an average life. No sports. No running. No cycling. If you have a gym membership, need not apply. If you have a coach or take more than one vitamin, please move on. If in the past 24 hours you have made mention of your heart rate, metabolism, or body fat count, you are not for me. Do you ever find yourself sore from an evening of drinking, horseshoes, beer pong and general horseplay? You might be my new best friend. Please reply with all pertinent information, although Iâm dubious that such a person exist in Austin, Tx.
O.k., I didnât really post this ad, but I am seriously considering firing all my friends and recruiting all new ones. Iâm not sure if itâs just my circle of friends or all of Austin is so fitness obsessed itâs ridiculous. Maybe I need to move to a less fit city. Houston is actually looking rather appealing, having been the top rated âfattest city in Americaâ in several recent years.
Donât get me wrong. I like fitness. I only do it as a means to enjoy the finer things in life, like Stella Artois, Herradura or the holiday cheese Fiesta from Hickory Farms. It seems as if every year another close friend of mine becomes so fitness crazed they are about as fun as Al Gore at the Burning Man Festival. Itâs annoying. Itâs as if they have joined a cult. They lose all social skills and become little nutrition robots. Unless you are getting paid to do a sport, it should never define you. If you are known as Bob the Triathlete, and youâve never won a dollar doing it, someone needs to bludgeon you with a warhammer!
Iâve come up with an official fitness freak loser test. Again, this does not apply to those who get paid for sport, purely amateurs. Answer yes or no to the following questions.
1. My profile picture on myspace, facebook, etc⦠is me participating in a sport. 2. I have a printed photo of myself larger than 5x7 participating in sports hanging in my house. 3. I wonât have a beer the evening before a race although I typically come in somewhere after 3,000th place each year in the Capital 10k. 4. I have used tape, lube or band aids to to prevent chaffing on my reproductive organs. 5. I have a collection of my event number pin-onâs and or bracelets displayed somewhere in my home. 6. I have talked to my nutritionist, coach and massage therapist all in the same day. 7. I have a tattoo related to my sport of choice somewhere on my body. 8. I am concerned about the color of my pee. 9. I have turned down nookie because it was within 24 hrs of an event. 10. I laugh at fitness infomercials instead of thinking âHey, the Pubic Shockerâmight be just what I need.
If you answered no to all of these, I love you. You are my new best friend. If you answered yes to 1 or 2 of these, itâs good to see you are taking care of yourself. Drop a workout once in awhile and go tubing on the Guadalupe or something. If you answered yes to 3-5 of these, itâs really time to get yourself in check, stop wearing Pilates pants to lunch. If you answered yes to 6 or more, you are a sick F#@$. Get help a.s.a.p. You are annoying and no one wants be around you. Youâre probably too busy weighing your food or rubbing Tiger Balm on your ass to even read this.
There was a time when I would have answered yes to more than 6 of these questions. What an annoying human being I must have been. Why didnât an innocent bystander beat me up? I could have used it. I am officially done sharing my athletic endeavors with innocent bystanders.
The joke used to be on the guy who couldnât let go of his sports prowess in the past, much like Uncle Rico in Napoleon Dynamite. Now I think the joke is on the adult who canât let go of their future accomplishments. No one cares if you are planning an Ironman, Iditarod and Base Jump in Dubai in January. WE DONâT CARE!!!!
Just in case you missed it. :)br /br /br /âIâm sorry honey, I completely underestimated the purpose of your closet and I will do everything within my power to respect your space, your things and the overall sacredness that is YOUR closet.âbr /br /My wife would be thrilled if I wrote that statement 100 times on a giant chalkboard, but the problem is⦠itâs not going to happen. I hate to further perpetuate the obvious differences between men and women, but the way we think of our closets is a big one. Itâs hard for me to get our brains around how women feel about their closets. The key word is âfeelâ. Itâs complicatedbr /br /To men, there is no attachment to a closet. Itâs a space where we shove our stuff. I literally mean, shove our stuff in there. It starts when we are kids. Mom says to clean up your room or you canât watch Monday Night Football. So, we scoop everything up into our arms and shove it into the closet. As soon as you open it, baseballs, basketballs, skateboards and race car sets come tumbling down. We never really outgrow this. Our closet is eternally a hidden space to hide things for a surprise inspection. br /br /I have talked to several adult women about their relationships with their closets. They were all very passionate about the things they love and hate. I found them all very interesting.br /br /I was shocked at the number of married couples that donât share a closet. Some because they are well off and have the his/hers setup, just off the master bedroom. More often they have the setup that means she got the master closet and he gets dressed somewhere else. I donât think she really cares where. The men that are not in the master closet are typically newlyweds that are so fresh, excited and willing to please their new bride they make this move right off the bat. Bad idea guys. You will spend years trying to fight your way back into the master, especially when you find yourself sharing space with your toddler. It doesnât really make a man feel like a power executive when he accidentally tries on his three year olds Spiderman undies. I was in the guest room as a newlywed, didnât want to wake up my new bride with my early hours. I still love her, donât get me wrong, but sheâs the first person Iâm waking up if I canât find my keys.br /br /Women love to be able to see every single pair of shoes they own at a glance. This takes a lot of space. This problem has arisen from the shoe boutiques that display their items in what I call âshoe condoâsâ. Little private residences for your footwear. Women want this same sort of glam treatment for their shoes at home. For most, this is not very realistic, so we go to The Container Store on mission to organize our closets. I have a theory on those shelving systems they sell. The only oneâs that have ever been built and actually exist as a complete setup are the ones on display in the store. When you attempt to replicate this in your home closet, the boxes you buy that are supposed to mimick these systems are just misc spare parts that are not intended to go together whatsoever. How many of us have fallen for the Elf system, only to be left on our closet floor in the fetal position wimpering?br /br /Women like to break down their closet into specific sections, casual, dresses, t-shirts, jeans, etcâ¦br /They are way off base with their labeling. If they were being honest their sections would be more like this; fat clothes, skinny clothes, out of style, too fancy, not fancy enough, not mine, shows too much cleavage, donât know why I still have this, all of my friends have seen me in the recently, and letâs not forget the stained/ripped/torn needs attention section.br /br /All women love the concept of having something new in their closet that they have NEVER worn, preferably still with the tag on it. It makes them feel special. Iâve found an easy, affordable remedy for this situation. I make the rounds to all the finer boutiques in town with some fresh cupcakes. I offer the cakes in exchange for some high priced tags which I take home and attach to my wifeâs old clothing. Women will either fall for this or think they are going crazy. Either way, itâs entertaining.br /br /Iâve always been fascinated with the number of purses women will keep. They typically take up all the upper shelf space in their closets. They hang on to them forever knowing full well that they are never going to go back to an older purse. Why wonât they part with these things? Have you ever given any thought to the amount of money women will drop on designer purses? Iâve always been perplexed by the fact that women will spend far more on a container for their money than the amount of money they posses. Thatâs completely illogical and unreasonable. Of course, if I wanted logic and reason, I could just marry my computer. The day they design a computer with breasts, women are in trouble. br /br /I know there are a lot of other things my wife would like for our closet, besides me moving outside into a Rubbermaid shed. Just to name a few, I think she would like twice the size, a full length mirror with rotating stage, a balance bar on the wall, matching hangers throughout (a chick thing and completely ridiculous), a lock on the door to keep me and the kid out, a tv, a pedicurist, a chocolate fountain, a hot tub, a young shirtless towel boy for when she steps out of the hot tub, and live performances from latin boy bands on the weekend and/or Oprah. Other than that, I think she loves our closet.
âIâm sorry honey, I completely underestimated the purpose of your closet and I will do everything within my power to respect your space, your things and the overall sacredness that is YOUR closet.â
My wife would be thrilled if I wrote that statement 100 times on a giant chalkboard, but the problem is⦠itâs not going to happen. I hate to further perpetuate the obvious differences between men and women, but the way we think of our closets is a big one. Itâs hard for me to get our brains around how women feel about their closets. The key word is âfeelâ. Itâs complicated
To men, there is no attachment to a closet. Itâs a space where we shove our stuff. I literally mean, shove our stuff in there. It starts when we are kids. Mom says to clean up your room or you canât watch Monday Night Football. So, we scoop everything up into our arms and shove it into the closet. As soon as you open it, baseballs, basketballs, skateboards and race car sets come tumbling down. We never really outgrow this. Our closet is eternally a hidden space to hide things for a surprise inspection.
I have talked to several adult women about their relationships with their closets. They were all very passionate about the things they love and hate. I found them all very interesting.
I was shocked at the number of married couples that donât share a closet. Some because they are well off and have the his/hers setup, just off the master bedroom. More often they have the setup that means she got the master closet and he gets dressed somewhere else. I donât think she really cares where. The men that are not in the master closet are typically newlyweds that are so fresh, excited and willing to please their new bride they make this move right off the bat. Bad idea guys. You will spend years trying to fight your way back into the master, especially when you find yourself sharing space with your toddler. It doesnât really make a man feel like a power executive when he accidentally tries on his three year olds Spiderman undies. I was in the guest room as a newlywed, didnât want to wake up my new bride with my early hours. I still love her, donât get me wrong, but sheâs the first person Iâm waking up if I canât find my keys.
Women love to be able to see every single pair of shoes they own at a glance. This takes a lot of space. This problem has arisen from the shoe boutiques that display their items in what I call âshoe condoâsâ. Little private residences for your footwear. Women want this same sort of glam treatment for their shoes at home. For most, this is not very realistic, so we go to The Container Store on mission to organize our closets. I have a theory on those shelving systems they sell. The only oneâs that have ever been built and actually exist as a complete setup are the ones on display in the store. When you attempt to replicate this in your home closet, the boxes you buy that are supposed to mimick these systems are just misc spare parts that are not intended to go together whatsoever. How many of us have fallen for the Elf system, only to be left on our closet floor in the fetal position wimpering?
Women like to break down their closet into specific sections, casual, dresses, t-shirts, jeans, etc⦠They are way off base with their labeling. If they were being honest their sections would be more like this; fat clothes, skinny clothes, out of style, too fancy, not fancy enough, not mine, shows too much cleavage, donât know why I still have this, all of my friends have seen me in the recently, and letâs not forget the stained/ripped/torn needs attention section.
All women love the concept of having something new in their closet that they have NEVER worn, preferably still with the tag on it. It makes them feel special. Iâve found an easy, affordable remedy for this situation. I make the rounds to all the finer boutiques in town with some fresh cupcakes. I offer the cakes in exchange for some high priced tags which I take home and attach to my wifeâs old clothing. Women will either fall for this or think they are going crazy. Either way, itâs entertaining.
Iâve always been fascinated with the number of purses women will keep. They typically take up all the upper shelf space in their closets. They hang on to them forever knowing full well that they are never going to go back to an older purse. Why wonât they part with these things? Have you ever given any thought to the amount of money women will drop on designer purses? Iâve always been perplexed by the fact that women will spend far more on a container for their money than the amount of money they posses. Thatâs completely illogical and unreasonable. Of course, if I wanted logic and reason, I could just marry my computer. The day they design a computer with breasts, women are in trouble.
I know there are a lot of other things my wife would like for our closet, besides me moving outside into a Rubbermaid shed. Just to name a few, I think she would like twice the size, a full length mirror with rotating stage, a balance bar on the wall, matching hangers throughout (a chick thing and completely ridiculous), a lock on the door to keep me and the kid out, a tv, a pedicurist, a chocolate fountain, a hot tub, a young shirtless towel boy for when she steps out of the hot tub, and live performances from latin boy bands on the weekend and/or Oprah. Other than that, I think she loves our closet.
In case you missed the Dec issue of Rare Magazine, here is my article that ran regarding Christmas memories...divbr //divdivbr //divbr /âHoney, what do you want for Christmas? I donât know what to get you.â I donât think Iâve ever had a good answer to that question, since I was about 12 years old. Iâm a deeply scared adult male, but making up for it rapidly and vicariously through my child. Iâll explain.br /br /When I was a kid I would put deep, concentration into exactly what I wanted for Christmas. I remember as a young kid wanting things that would impress my friends, good solid conversation pieces. Itâs in guysâ blood to be competitive, be braggadocios and just plain show off. My parents, bless their hearts, just sort of âmissed the markâ as far as gifts went. Iâll admit, we were a family of modest means, but sometimes I wanted to show the other kids at elementary school that I had and âedgeâ. I recall some of those incidents when my parents not only missed the bullâs eye; the dart missed the board entirely, putting yet another hole in the wood paneling that was my ego. This is the story of why Iâve started spoiling my child.br /br /I distinctly recall the first thing I ever REALLY wanted. It was a skateboard. A killer one. It was the mid 70âs and the boom of the first extreme sport. Skateboarding magazine had just come out, guys were shredding abandoned swimming pools and empty half pipes. I wanted so badly to be a part of this culture. The technology of skateboards was booming at the time, but this was lost on my folks. That was the only thing I requested for Christmas that year. I would be ready to shred as soon as the snow melted in Kansas City the followig year. I remember opening that sadly wrapped skateboard, purchased at the local Ace Hardware store. It was a skinny board that said âGoofyfootâ on it. The thing had metal wheels! No lie. Do you remember the old metal skates that would strap around your shoes that were probably popular in the 50âs? I had the skateboard version of that, barely a generation above a Soap Box Car. Not exactly the envy of the neighborhood kids.br /br /It was amazing the power of a t.v. commercial back then. Apparently, fans of Gilliganâs Island, The Brady Bunch and The Beverly Hillbillies were prime targets for slot car racing. Iâll never forget the commercials for TCR, Total Control Racing. This was slot car racing with the ability to change lanes and pass on one section of the track. I was enamored with it. I was certain that the year had arrived that the TCR was going to be waiting for me under the tree. There was a race track that year, but not quite what I hoped for. It was, and Iâm not making this up, a Hot Wheels set. Age appropriate for a kid a good 5 years younger than me. The pieces of track were wonderful for abusing my sisters, but needed to be hidden when friends came over.br /br /The next thing I remember wanting badly was an electronic football game. Coleco had come out with amazing hand held game called Electronic Quarterback. It was really the first generation of what is now evolved into things like gameboy systems. Mobile coolness. It was pretty high tech for 1978. They had come out with the new version for two players called Head-to-Head Football for two players at once. This was very popular on my school bus rides home. It would turn into a tournaments and I needed to get better at this. I humbly put in my request that year. My mom, bless her heart, did her best, but got me Electric Football, which was a table sized football field. It was popular a good five years before that. You set up all your players on the field (a table), the opponent set up their, which were basically action figures and then you turned on the machine which was plugged in. The table would vibrate until your players fell down. It was ridiculous and even harder to play on the bus without electricity. Needless to say, I didnât make any new friends that year. br /br /The following year I had high expectations once again. Jam Boxes were huge that year. I donât mean huge as in âpopularâ, I mean they were HUGE. The bigger the better. Junior high was in full swing and there was nothing cooler than showing up to a track meet with a monster radio. John Herrera was the most popular kid in our school because he always had the latest, greatest jam box. I recall one he had that included a record player! He was a shot putter on the track team, so hauling it around was not an issue. I simply put âJam Boxâ on my wish list that year. I had distinctly different tastes in music from John and needed my own device. That year, I opened my Panasonic tape recorder. It in NO WAY resembled a Jam Box. I could have run the mile with it in my shorts. It would have come in handy if I was dictating legalese, but unfortunately on a 7th grade education, not necessary. br /br /Have you noticed the common thread? Iâve been chronically 5 years behind the rest of the world for my entire life. Donât misunderstand me. Iâm not complaining. Iâm merely doing some soul searching as to why Iâm overcompensating now. Do you think itâs a bit odd I bought my daughter a computer when she was a fetus, I have a car waiting for her in the driveway and sheâs just learning to read, and Iâve already booked her on a commercial flight to the moon.
In case you missed the Dec issue of Rare Magazine, here is my article that ran regarding Christmas memories...
âHoney, what do you want for Christmas? I donât know what to get you.â I donât think Iâve ever had a good answer to that question, since I was about 12 years old. Iâm a deeply scared adult male, but making up for it rapidly and vicariously through my child. Iâll explain.
When I was a kid I would put deep, concentration into exactly what I wanted for Christmas. I remember as a young kid wanting things that would impress my friends, good solid conversation pieces. Itâs in guysâ blood to be competitive, be braggadocios and just plain show off. My parents, bless their hearts, just sort of âmissed the markâ as far as gifts went. Iâll admit, we were a family of modest means, but sometimes I wanted to show the other kids at elementary school that I had and âedgeâ. I recall some of those incidents when my parents not only missed the bullâs eye; the dart missed the board entirely, putting yet another hole in the wood paneling that was my ego. This is the story of why Iâve started spoiling my child.
I distinctly recall the first thing I ever REALLY wanted. It was a skateboard. A killer one. It was the mid 70âs and the boom of the first extreme sport. Skateboarding magazine had just come out, guys were shredding abandoned swimming pools and empty half pipes. I wanted so badly to be a part of this culture. The technology of skateboards was booming at the time, but this was lost on my folks. That was the only thing I requested for Christmas that year. I would be ready to shred as soon as the snow melted in Kansas City the followig year. I remember opening that sadly wrapped skateboard, purchased at the local Ace Hardware store. It was a skinny board that said âGoofyfootâ on it. The thing had metal wheels! No lie. Do you remember the old metal skates that would strap around your shoes that were probably popular in the 50âs? I had the skateboard version of that, barely a generation above a Soap Box Car. Not exactly the envy of the neighborhood kids.
It was amazing the power of a t.v. commercial back then. Apparently, fans of Gilliganâs Island, The Brady Bunch and The Beverly Hillbillies were prime targets for slot car racing. Iâll never forget the commercials for TCR, Total Control Racing. This was slot car racing with the ability to change lanes and pass on one section of the track. I was enamored with it. I was certain that the year had arrived that the TCR was going to be waiting for me under the tree. There was a race track that year, but not quite what I hoped for. It was, and Iâm not making this up, a Hot Wheels set. Age appropriate for a kid a good 5 years younger than me. The pieces of track were wonderful for abusing my sisters, but needed to be hidden when friends came over.
The next thing I remember wanting badly was an electronic football game. Coleco had come out with amazing hand held game called Electronic Quarterback. It was really the first generation of what is now evolved into things like gameboy systems. Mobile coolness. It was pretty high tech for 1978. They had come out with the new version for two players called Head-to-Head Football for two players at once. This was very popular on my school bus rides home. It would turn into a tournaments and I needed to get better at this. I humbly put in my request that year. My mom, bless her heart, did her best, but got me Electric Football, which was a table sized football field. It was popular a good five years before that. You set up all your players on the field (a table), the opponent set up their, which were basically action figures and then you turned on the machine which was plugged in. The table would vibrate until your players fell down. It was ridiculous and even harder to play on the bus without electricity. Needless to say, I didnât make any new friends that year.
The following year I had high expectations once again. Jam Boxes were huge that year. I donât mean huge as in âpopularâ, I mean they were HUGE. The bigger the better. Junior high was in full swing and there was nothing cooler than showing up to a track meet with a monster radio. John Herrera was the most popular kid in our school because he always had the latest, greatest jam box. I recall one he had that included a record player! He was a shot putter on the track team, so hauling it around was not an issue. I simply put âJam Boxâ on my wish list that year. I had distinctly different tastes in music from John and needed my own device. That year, I opened my Panasonic tape recorder. It in NO WAY resembled a Jam Box. I could have run the mile with it in my shorts. It would have come in handy if I was dictating legalese, but unfortunately on a 7th grade education, not necessary.
Have you noticed the common thread? Iâve been chronically 5 years behind the rest of the world for my entire life. Donât misunderstand me. Iâm not complaining. Iâm merely doing some soul searching as to why Iâm overcompensating now. Do you think itâs a bit odd I bought my daughter a computer when she was a fetus, I have a car waiting for her in the driveway and sheâs just learning to read, and Iâve already booked her on a commercial flight to the moon.
One for  fun video for you. Here's my buddy, Rick driving my car at Driveway Austin.divbr //divobject width="425" height="350" param name="movie" value="http://www.youtube.com/v/_j4EFhGkN2M" /param embed src="http://www.youtube.com/v/_j4EFhGkN2M" type="application/x-shockwave-flash" width="425" height="350" /embed /object
Such a fun weekend. My buddy, Rick, was visiting from San Diego. We got to get on the track at Driveway Austin and haul ass in a lotus. Got up to about 110mph and had a blast. Check out this vid. Sorry about the audio about half way through. Rick held his camera up over the windshield.divbr //divobject width="320" height="266" class="BLOG_video_class" id="BLOG_video-4feaa721e4f1036e" classid="clsid:D27CDB6E-AE6D-11cf-96B8-444553540000" codebase="http://download.macromedia.com/pub/shockwave/cabs/flash/swflash.cab#version=6,0,40,0"param name="movie" value="http://www.blogger.com/img/videoplayer.swf?videoUrl=http%3A%2F%2Fv11.nonxt4.googlevideo.com%2Fvideoplayback%3Fid%3D4feaa721e4f1036e%26itag%3D5%26begin%3D0%26len%3D86400000%26app%3Dblogger%26et%3Dplay%26el%3DEMBEDDED%26ip%3D0.0.0.0%26ipbits%3D0%26expire%3D1276325523%26sparams%3Did%252Citag%252Cip%252Cipbits%252Cexpire%26signature%3D77D1974579345F696552A45C4473300B0A99E22D.435E013FD0F97AD069256FBA187B6E064A9BFDC0%26key%3Dck1amp;thumbnailUrl=http%3A%2F%2Fvideo.google.com%2FThumbnailServer2%3Fapp%3Dblogger%26contentid%3D4feaa721e4f1036e%26offsetms%3D5000%26itag%3Dw320%26sigh%3DvAY57ZFCukfHI4lyXpFf3QKjXIkamp;messagesUrl=video.google.com%2FFlashUiStrings.xlb%3Fframe%3Dflashstrings%26hl%3Denamp;nogvlm=1"param name="bgcolor" value="#FFFFFF"embed width="320" height="266" src="http://www.blogger.com/img/videoplayer.swf?videoUrl=http%3A%2F%2Fv11.nonxt4.googlevideo.com%2Fvideoplayback%3Fid%3D4feaa721e4f1036e%26itag%3D5%26begin%3D0%26len%3D86400000%26app%3Dblogger%26et%3Dplay%26el%3DEMBEDDED%26ip%3D0.0.0.0%26ipbits%3D0%26expire%3D1276325523%26sparams%3Did%252Citag%252Cip%252Cipbits%252Cexpire%26signature%3D77D1974579345F696552A45C4473300B0A99E22D.435E013FD0F97AD069256FBA187B6E064A9BFDC0%26key%3Dck1amp;thumbnailUrl=http%3A%2F%2Fvideo.google.com%2FThumbnailServer2%3Fapp%3Dblogger%26contentid%3D4feaa721e4f1036e%26offsetms%3D5000%26itag%3Dw320%26sigh%3DvAY57ZFCukfHI4lyXpFf3QKjXIkamp;messagesUrl=video.google.com%2FFlashUiStrings.xlb%3Fframe%3Dflashstrings%26hl%3Denamp;nogvlm=1" type="application/x-shockwave-flash"/embed/object
Such a fun weekend. My buddy, Rick, was visiting from San Diego. We got to get on the track at Driveway Austin and haul ass in a lotus. Got up to about 110mph and had a blast. Check out this vid. Sorry about the audio about half way through. Rick held his camera up over the windshield.
Such a fun weekend. My buddy, Rick, was visiting from San Diego. We got to get on the track at Driveway Austin and haul ass in a lotus. Got up to about 110mph and had a blast. Check out this vid. Sorry about the audio about half way through. Rick held his camera up over the windshield.divbr //divobject width="320" height="266" class="BLOG_video_class" id="BLOG_video-4feaa721e4f1036e" classid="clsid:D27CDB6E-AE6D-11cf-96B8-444553540000" codebase="http://download.macromedia.com/pub/shockwave/cabs/flash/swflash.cab#version=6,0,40,0"param name="movie" value="http://www.blogger.com/img/videoplayer.swf?videoUrl=http%3A%2F%2Fv11.nonxt4.googlevideo.com%2Fvideoplayback%3Fid%3D4feaa721e4f1036e%26itag%3D5%26begin%3D0%26len%3D86400000%26app%3Dblogger%26et%3Dplay%26el%3DEMBEDDED%26ip%3D0.0.0.0%26ipbits%3D0%26expire%3D1275978627%26sparams%3Did%252Citag%252Cip%252Cipbits%252Cexpire%26signature%3D5FE268A78EFC9B3FD196450D5B503E4728297E0D.15D155794712F09C53421035712EC8DE8928F933%26key%3Dck1amp;thumbnailUrl=http%3A%2F%2Fvideo.google.com%2FThumbnailServer2%3Fapp%3Dblogger%26contentid%3D4feaa721e4f1036e%26offsetms%3D5000%26itag%3Dw320%26sigh%3DvAY57ZFCukfHI4lyXpFf3QKjXIkamp;messagesUrl=video.google.com%2FFlashUiStrings.xlb%3Fframe%3Dflashstrings%26hl%3Denamp;nogvlm=1"param name="bgcolor" value="#FFFFFF"embed width="320" height="266" src="http://www.blogger.com/img/videoplayer.swf?videoUrl=http%3A%2F%2Fv11.nonxt4.googlevideo.com%2Fvideoplayback%3Fid%3D4feaa721e4f1036e%26itag%3D5%26begin%3D0%26len%3D86400000%26app%3Dblogger%26et%3Dplay%26el%3DEMBEDDED%26ip%3D0.0.0.0%26ipbits%3D0%26expire%3D1275978627%26sparams%3Did%252Citag%252Cip%252Cipbits%252Cexpire%26signature%3D5FE268A78EFC9B3FD196450D5B503E4728297E0D.15D155794712F09C53421035712EC8DE8928F933%26key%3Dck1amp;thumbnailUrl=http%3A%2F%2Fvideo.google.com%2FThumbnailServer2%3Fapp%3Dblogger%26contentid%3D4feaa721e4f1036e%26offsetms%3D5000%26itag%3Dw320%26sigh%3DvAY57ZFCukfHI4lyXpFf3QKjXIkamp;messagesUrl=video.google.com%2FFlashUiStrings.xlb%3Fframe%3Dflashstrings%26hl%3Denamp;nogvlm=1" type="application/x-shockwave-flash"/embed/object
Such a fun weekend. My buddy, Rick, was visiting from San Diego. We got to get on the track at Driveway Austin and haul ass in a lotus. Got up to about 110mph and had a blast. Check out this vid. Sorry about the audio about half way through. Rick held his camera up over the windshield.
Such a fun weekend. My buddy, Rick, was visiting from San Diego. We got to get on the track at Driveway Austin and haul ass in a lotus. Got up to about 110mph and had a blast. Check out this vid. Sorry about the audio about half way through. Rick held his camera up over the windshield.
Such a fun weekend. My buddy, Rick, was visiting from San Diego. We got to get on the track at Driveway Austin and haul ass in a lotus. Got up to about 110mph and had a blast. Check out this vid. Sorry about the audio about half way through. Rick held his camera up over the windshield.
Such a fun weekend. My buddy, Rick, was visiting from San Diego. We got to get on the track at Driveway Austin and haul ass in a lotus. Got up to about 110mph and had a blast. Check out this vid. Sorry about the audio about half way through. Rick held his camera up over the windshield.
Such a fun weekend. My buddy, Rick, was visiting from San Diego. We got to get on the track at Driveway Austin and haul ass in a lotus. Got up to about 110mph and had a blast. Check out this vid. Sorry about the audio about half way through. Rick held his camera up over the windshield.
Such a fun weekend. My buddy, Rick, was visiting from San Diego. We got to get on the track at Driveway Austin and haul ass in a lotus. Got up to about 110mph and had a blast. Check out this vid. Sorry about the audio about half way through. Rick held his camera up over the windshield.
Such a fun weekend. My buddy, Rick, was visiting from San Diego. We got to get on the track at Driveway Austin and haul ass in a lotus. Got up to about 110mph and had a blast. Check out this vid. Sorry about the audio about half way through. Rick held his camera up over the windshield.
Such a fun weekend. My buddy, Rick, was visiting from San Diego. We got to get on the track at Driveway Austin and haul ass in a lotus. Got up to about 110mph and had a blast. Check out this vid. Sorry about the audio about half way through. Rick held his camera up over the windshield.
Such a fun weekend. My buddy, Rick, was visiting from San Diego. We got to get on the track at Driveway Austin and haul ass in a lotus. Got up to about 110mph and had a blast. Check out this vid. Sorry about the audio about half way through. Rick held his camera up over the windshield.
Such a fun weekend. My buddy, Rick, was visiting from San Diego. We got to get on the track at Driveway Austin and haul ass in a lotus. Got up to about 110mph and had a blast. Check out this vid. Sorry about the audio about half way through. Rick held his camera up over the windshield.
Such a fun weekend. My buddy, Rick, was visiting from San Diego. We got to get on the track at Driveway Austin and haul ass in a lotus. Got up to about 110mph and had a blast. Check out this vid. Sorry about the audio about half way through. Rick held his camera up over the windshield.
Such a fun weekend. My buddy, Rick, was visiting from San Diego. We got to get on the track at Driveway Austin and haul ass in a lotus. Got up to about 110mph and had a blast. Check out this vid. Sorry about the audio about half way through. Rick held his camera up over the windshield.
Such a fun weekend. My buddy, Rick, was visiting from San Diego. We got to get on the track at Driveway Austin and haul ass in a lotus. Got up to about 110mph and had a blast. Check out this vid. Sorry about the audio about half way through. Rick held his camera up over the windshield.
Such a fun weekend. My buddy, Rick, was visiting from San Diego. We got to get on the track at Driveway Austin and haul ass in a lotus. Got up to about 110mph and had a blast. Check out this vid. Sorry about the audio about half way through. Rick held his camera up over the windshield.
Such a fun weekend. My buddy, Rick, was visiting from San Diego. We got to get on the track at Driveway Austin and haul ass in a lotus. Got up to about 110mph and had a blast. Check out this vid. Sorry about the audio about half way through. Rick held his camera up over the windshield.
Such a fun weekend. My buddy, Rick, was visiting from San Diego. We got to get on the track at Driveway Austin and haul ass in a lotus. Got up to about 110mph and had a blast. Check out this vid. Sorry about the audio about half way through. Rick held his camera up over the windshield.
Such a fun weekend. My buddy, Rick, was visiting from San Diego. We got to get on the track at Driveway Austin and haul ass in a lotus. Got up to about 110mph and had a blast. Check out this vid. Sorry about the audio about half way through. Rick held his camera up over the windshield.
Such a fun weekend. My buddy, Rick, was visiting from San Diego. We got to get on the track at Driveway Austin and haul ass in a lotus. Got up to about 110mph and had a blast. Check out this vid. Sorry about the audio about half way through. Rick held his camera up over the windshield.
Such a fun weekend. My buddy, Rick, was visiting from San Diego. We got to get on the track at Driveway Austin and haul ass in a lotus. Got up to about 110mph and had a blast. Check out this vid. Sorry about the audio about half way through. Rick held his camera up over the windshield.
Such a fun weekend. My buddy, Rick, was visiting from San Diego. We got to get on the track at Driveway Austin and haul ass in a lotus. Got up to about 110mph and had a blast. Check out this vid. Sorry about the audio about half way through. Rick held his camera up over the windshield.
Such a fun weekend. My buddy, Rick, was visiting from San Diego. We got to get on the track at Driveway Austin and haul ass in a lotus. Got up to about 110mph and had a blast. Check out this vid. Sorry about the audio about half way through. Rick held his camera up over the windshield.
Such a fun weekend. My buddy, Rick, was visiting from San Diego. We got to get on the track at Driveway Austin and haul ass in a lotus. Got up to about 110mph and had a blast. Check out this vid. Sorry about the audio about half way through. Rick held his camera up over the windshield.
Such a fun weekend. My buddy, Rick, was visiting from San Diego. We got to get on the track at Driveway Austin and haul ass in a lotus. Got up to about 110mph and had a blast. Check out this vid. Sorry about the audio about half way through. Rick held his camera up over the windshield.
Such a fun weekend. My buddy, Rick, was visiting from San Diego. We got to get on the track at Driveway Austin and haul ass in a lotus. Got up to about 110mph and had a blast. Check out this vid. Sorry about the audio about half way through. Rick held his camera up over the windshield.
Such a fun weekend. My buddy, Rick, was visiting from San Diego. We got to get on the track at Driveway Austin and haul ass in a lotus. Got up to about 110mph and had a blast. Check out this vid. Sorry about the audio about half way through. Rick held his camera up over the windshield.
Such a fun weekend. My buddy, Rick, was visiting from San Diego. We got to get on the track at Driveway Austin and haul ass in a lotus. Got up to about 110mph and had a blast. Check out this vid. Sorry about the audio about half way through. Rick held his camera up over the windshield.
Such a fun weekend. My buddy, Rick, was visiting from San Diego. We got to get on the track at Driveway Austin and haul ass in a lotus. Got up to about 110mph and had a blast. Check out this vid. Sorry about the audio about half way through. Rick held his camera up over the windshield.
Such a fun weekend. My buddy, Rick, was visiting from San Diego. We got to get on the track at Driveway Austin and haul ass in a lotus. Got up to about 110mph and had a blast. Check out this vid. Sorry about the audio about half way through. Rick held his camera up over the windshield.
Such a fun weekend. My buddy, Rick, was visiting from San Diego. We got to get on the track at Driveway Austin and haul ass in a lotus. Got up to about 110mph and had a blast. Check out this vid. Sorry about the audio about half way through. Rick held his camera up over the windshield.
Such a fun weekend. My buddy, Rick, was visiting from San Diego. We got to get on the track at Driveway Austin and haul ass in a lotus. Got up to about 110mph and had a blast. Check out this vid. Sorry about the audio about half way through. Rick held his camera up over the windshield.
Such a fun weekend. My buddy, Rick, was visiting from San Diego. We got to get on the track at Driveway Austin and haul ass in a lotus. Got up to about 110mph and had a blast. Check out this vid. Sorry about the audio about half way through. Rick held his camera up over the windshield.
Such a fun weekend. My buddy, Rick, was visiting from San Diego. We got to get on the track at Driveway Austin and haul ass in a lotus. Got up to about 110mph and had a blast. Check out this vid. Sorry about the audio about half way through. Rick held his camera up over the windshield.
Such a fun weekend. My buddy, Rick, was visiting from San Diego. We got to get on the track at Driveway Austin and haul ass in a lotus. Got up to about 110mph and had a blast. Check out this vid. Sorry about the audio about half way through. Rick held his camera up over the windshield.
Such a fun weekend. My buddy, Rick, was visiting from San Diego. We got to get on the track at Driveway Austin and haul ass in a lotus. Got up to about 110mph and had a blast. Check out this vid. Sorry about the audio about half way through. Rick held his camera up over the windshield.
Such a fun weekend. My buddy, Rick, was visiting from San Diego. We got to get on the track at Driveway Austin and haul ass in a lotus. Got up to about 110mph and had a blast. Check out this vid. Sorry about the audio about half way through. Rick held his camera up over the windshield.
Such a fun weekend. My buddy, Rick, was visiting from San Diego. We got to get on the track at Driveway Austin and haul ass in a lotus. Got up to about 110mph and had a blast. Check out this vid. Sorry about the audio about half way through. Rick held his camera up over the windshield.
Such a fun weekend. My buddy, Rick, was visiting from San Diego. We got to get on the track at Driveway Austin and haul ass in a lotus. Got up to about 110mph and had a blast. Check out this vid. Sorry about the audio about half way through. Rick held his camera up over the windshield.
Such a fun weekend. My buddy, Rick, was visiting from San Diego. We got to get on the track at Driveway Austin and haul ass in a lotus. Got up to about 110mph and had a blast. Check out this vid. Sorry about the audio about half way through. Rick held his camera up over the windshield.
Such a fun weekend. My buddy, Rick, was visiting from San Diego. We got to get on the track at Driveway Austin and haul ass in a lotus. Got up to about 110mph and had a blast. Check out this vid. Sorry about the audio about half way through. Rick held his camera up over the windshield.
Such a fun weekend. My buddy, Rick, was visiting from San Diego. We got to get on the track at Driveway Austin and haul ass in a lotus. Got up to about 110mph and had a blast. Check out this vid. Sorry about the audio about half way through. Rick held his camera up over the windshield.
Such a fun weekend. My buddy, Rick, was visiting from San Diego. We got to get on the track at Driveway Austin and haul ass in a lotus. Got up to about 110mph and had a blast. Check out this vid. Sorry about the audio about half way through. Rick held his camera up over the windshield.
Such a fun weekend. My buddy, Rick, was visiting from San Diego. We got to get on the track at Driveway Austin and haul ass in a lotus. Got up to about 110mph and had a blast. Check out this vid. Sorry about the audio about half way through. Rick held his camera up over the windshield.
Such a fun weekend. My buddy, Rick, was visiting from San Diego. We got to get on the track at Driveway Austin and haul ass in a lotus. Got up to about 110mph and had a blast. Check out this vid. Sorry about the audio about half way through. Rick held his camera up over the windshield.
Such a fun weekend. My buddy, Rick, was visiting from San Diego. We got to get on the track at Driveway Austin and haul ass in a lotus. Got up to about 110mph and had a blast. Check out this vid. Sorry about the audio about half way through. Rick held his camera up over the windshield.
Such a fun weekend. My buddy, Rick, was visiting from San Diego. We got to get on the track at Driveway Austin and haul ass in a lotus. Got up to about 110mph and had a blast. Check out this vid. Sorry about the audio about half way through. Rick held his camera up over the windshield.
Such a fun weekend. My buddy, Rick, was visiting from San Diego. We got to get on the track at Driveway Austin and haul ass in a lotus. Got up to about 110mph and had a blast. Check out this vid. Sorry about the audio about half way through. Rick held his camera up over the windshield.
Such a fun weekend. My buddy, Rick, was visiting from San Diego. We got to get on the track at Driveway Austin and haul ass in a lotus. Got up to about 110mph and had a blast. Check out this vid. Sorry about the audio about half way through. Rick held his camera up over the windshield.
Such a fun weekend. My buddy, Rick, was visiting from San Diego. We got to get on the track at Driveway Austin and haul ass in a lotus. Got up to about 110mph and had a blast. Check out this vid. Sorry about the audio about half way through. Rick held his camera up over the windshield.
Such a fun weekend. My buddy, Rick, was visiting from San Diego. We got to get on the track at Driveway Austin and haul ass in a lotus. Got up to about 110mph and had a blast. Check out this vid. Sorry about the audio about half way through. Rick held his camera up over the windshield.
Such a fun weekend. My buddy, Rick, was visiting from San Diego. We got to get on the track at Driveway Austin and haul ass in a lotus. Got up to about 110mph and had a blast. Check out this vid. Sorry about the audio about half way through. Rick held his camera up over the windshield.
Such a fun weekend. My buddy, Rick, was visiting from San Diego. We got to get on the track at Driveway Austin and haul ass in a lotus. Got up to about 110mph and had a blast. Check out this vid. Sorry about the audio about half way through. Rick held his camera up over the windshield.
Such a fun weekend. My buddy, Rick, was visiting from San Diego. We got to get on the track at Driveway Austin and haul ass in a lotus. Got up to about 110mph and had a blast. Check out this vid. Sorry about the audio about half way through. Rick held his camera up over the windshield.
Such a fun weekend. My buddy, Rick, was visiting from San Diego. We got to get on the track at Driveway Austin and haul ass in a lotus. Got up to about 110mph and had a blast. Check out this vid. Sorry about the audio about half way through. Rick held his camera up over the windshield.
Such a fun weekend. My buddy, Rick, was visiting from San Diego. We got to get on the track at Driveway Austin and haul ass in a lotus. Got up to about 110mph and had a blast. Check out this vid. Sorry about the audio about half way through. Rick held his camera up over the windshield.
Such a fun weekend. My buddy, Rick, was visiting from San Diego. We got to get on the track at Driveway Austin and haul ass in a lotus. Got up to about 110mph and had a blast. Check out this vid. Sorry about the audio about half way through. Rick held his camera up over the windshield.
Such a fun weekend. My buddy, Rick, was visiting from San Diego. We got to get on the track at Driveway Austin and haul ass in a lotus. Got up to about 110mph and had a blast. Check out this vid. Sorry about the audio about half way through. Rick held his camera up over the windshield.
Such a fun weekend. My buddy, Rick, was visiting from San Diego. We got to get on the track at Driveway Austin and haul ass in a lotus. Got up to about 110mph and had a blast. Check out this vid. Sorry about the audio about half way through. Rick held his camera up over the windshield.
Such a fun weekend. My buddy, Rick, was visiting from San Diego. We got to get on the track at Driveway Austin and haul ass in a lotus. Got up to about 110mph and had a blast. Check out this vid. Sorry about the audio about half way through. Rick held his camera up over the windshield.
Such a fun weekend. My buddy, Rick, was visiting from San Diego. We got to get on the track at Driveway Austin and haul ass in a lotus. Got up to about 110mph and had a blast. Check out this vid. Sorry about the audio about half way through. Rick held his camera up over the windshield.
Such a fun weekend. My buddy, Rick, was visiting from San Diego. We got to get on the track at Driveway Austin and haul ass in a lotus. Got up to about 110mph and had a blast. Check out this vid. Sorry about the audio about half way through. Rick held his camera up over the windshield.
Such a fun weekend. My buddy, Rick, was visiting from San Diego. We got to get on the track at Driveway Austin and haul ass in a lotus. Got up to about 110mph and had a blast. Check out this vid. Sorry about the audio about half way through. Rick held his camera up over the windshield.
Such a fun weekend. My buddy, Rick, was visiting from San Diego. We got to get on the track at Driveway Austin and haul ass in a lotus. Got up to about 110mph and had a blast. Check out this vid. Sorry about the audio about half way through. Rick held his camera up over the windshield.
Such a fun weekend. My buddy, Rick, was visiting from San Diego. We got to get on the track at Driveway Austin and haul ass in a lotus. Got up to about 110mph and had a blast. Check out this vid. Sorry about the audio about half way through. Rick held his camera up over the windshield.
Such a fun weekend. My buddy, Rick, was visiting from San Diego. We got to get on the track at Driveway Austin and haul ass in a lotus. Got up to about 110mph and had a blast. Check out this vid. Sorry about the audio about half way through. Rick held his camera up over the windshield.
Such a fun weekend. My buddy, Rick, was visiting from San Diego. We got to get on the track at Driveway Austin and haul ass in a lotus. Got up to about 110mph and had a blast. Check out this vid. Sorry about the audio about half way through. Rick held his camera up over the windshield.
Such a fun weekend. My buddy, Rick, was visiting from San Diego. We got to get on the track at Driveway Austin and haul ass in a lotus. Got up to about 110mph and had a blast. Check out this vid. Sorry about the audio about half way through. Rick held his camera up over the windshield.
Such a fun weekend. My buddy, Rick, was visiting from San Diego. We got to get on the track at Driveway Austin and haul ass in a lotus. Got up to about 110mph and had a blast. Check out this vid. Sorry about the audio about half way through. Rick held his camera up over the windshield.
Such a fun weekend. My buddy, Rick, was visiting from San Diego. We got to get on the track at Driveway Austin and haul ass in a lotus. Got up to about 110mph and had a blast. Check out this vid. Sorry about the audio about half way through. Rick held his camera up over the windshield.
Such a fun weekend. My buddy, Rick, was visiting from San Diego. We got to get on the track at Driveway Austin and haul ass in a lotus. Got up to about 110mph and had a blast. Check out this vid. Sorry about the audio about half way through. Rick held his camera up over the windshield.
Such a fun weekend. My buddy, Rick, was visiting from San Diego. We got to get on the track at Driveway Austin and haul ass in a lotus. Got up to about 110mph and had a blast. Check out this vid. Sorry about the audio about half way through. Rick held his camera up over the windshield.
Such a fun weekend. My buddy, Rick, was visiting from San Diego. We got to get on the track at Driveway Austin and haul ass in a lotus. Got up to about 110mph and had a blast. Check out this vid. Sorry about the audio about half way through. Rick held his camera up over the windshield.
Such a fun weekend. My buddy, Rick, was visiting from San Diego. We got to get on the track at Driveway Austin and haul ass in a lotus. Got up to about 110mph and had a blast. Check out this vid. Sorry about the audio about half way through. Rick held his camera up over the windshield.
Such a fun weekend. My buddy, Rick, was visiting from San Diego. We got to get on the track at Driveway Austin and haul ass in a lotus. Got up to about 110mph and had a blast. Check out this vid. Sorry about the audio about half way through. Rick held his camera up over the windshield.
Such a fun weekend. My buddy, Rick, was visiting from San Diego. We got to get on the track at Driveway Austin and haul ass in a lotus. Got up to about 110mph and had a blast. Check out this vid. Sorry about the audio about half way through. Rick held his camera up over the windshield.
Such a fun weekend. My buddy, Rick, was visiting from San Diego. We got to get on the track at Driveway Austin and haul ass in a lotus. Got up to about 110mph and had a blast. Check out this vid. Sorry about the audio about half way through. Rick held his camera up over the windshield.
Such a fun weekend. My buddy, Rick, was visiting from San Diego. We got to get on the track at Driveway Austin and haul ass in a lotus. Got up to about 110mph and had a blast. Check out this vid. Sorry about the audio about half way through. Rick held his camera up over the windshield.
Such a fun weekend. My buddy, Rick, was visiting from San Diego. We got to get on the track at Driveway Austin and haul ass in a lotus. Got up to about 110mph and had a blast. Check out this vid. Sorry about the audio about half way through. Rick held his camera up over the windshield.
Such a fun weekend. My buddy, Rick, was visiting from San Diego. We got to get on the track at Driveway Austin and haul ass in a lotus. Got up to about 110mph and had a blast. Check out this vid. Sorry about the audio about half way through. Rick held his camera up over the windshield.
Such a fun weekend. My buddy, Rick, was visiting from San Diego. We got to get on the track at Driveway Austin and haul ass in a lotus. Got up to about 110mph and had a blast. Check out this vid. Sorry about the audio about half way through. Rick held his camera up over the windshield.
Such a fun weekend. My buddy, Rick, was visiting from San Diego. We got to get on the track at Driveway Austin and haul ass in a lotus. Got up to about 110mph and had a blast. Check out this vid. Sorry about the audio about half way through. Rick held his camera up over the windshield.
Such a fun weekend. My buddy, Rick, was visiting from San Diego. We got to get on the track at Driveway Austin and haul ass in a lotus. Got up to about 110mph and had a blast. Check out this vid. Sorry about the audio about half way through. Rick held his camera up over the windshield.
Such a fun weekend. My buddy, Rick, was visiting from San Diego. We got to get on the track at Driveway Austin and haul ass in a lotus. Got up to about 110mph and had a blast. Check out this vid. Sorry about the audio about half way through. Rick held his camera up over the windshield.
Such a fun weekend. My buddy, Rick, was visiting from San Diego. We got to get on the track at Driveway Austin and haul ass in a lotus. Got up to about 110mph and had a blast. Check out this vid. Sorry about the audio about half way through. Rick held his camera up over the windshield.
Such a fun weekend. My buddy, Rick, was visiting from San Diego. We got to get on the track at Driveway Austin and haul ass in a lotus. Got up to about 110mph and had a blast. Check out this vid. Sorry about the audio about half way through. Rick held his camera up over the windshield.
Such a fun weekend. My buddy, Rick, was visiting from San Diego. We got to get on the track at Driveway Austin and haul ass in a lotus. Got up to about 110mph and had a blast. Check out this vid. Sorry about the audio about half way through. Rick held his camera up over the windshield.
Such a fun weekend. My buddy, Rick, was visiting from San Diego. We got to get on the track at Driveway Austin and haul ass in a lotus. Got up to about 110mph and had a blast. Check out this vid. Sorry about the audio about half way through. Rick held his camera up over the windshield.
Such a fun weekend. My buddy, Rick, was visiting from San Diego. We got to get on the track at Driveway Austin and haul ass in a lotus. Got up to about 110mph and had a blast. Check out this vid. Sorry about the audio about half way through. Rick held his camera up over the windshield.
Such a fun weekend. My buddy, Rick, was visiting from San Diego. We got to get on the track at Driveway Austin and haul ass in a lotus. Got up to about 110mph and had a blast. Check out this vid. Sorry about the audio about half way through. Rick held his camera up over the windshield.
Such a fun weekend. My buddy, Rick, was visiting from San Diego. We got to get on the track at Driveway Austin and haul ass in a lotus. Got up to about 110mph and had a blast. Check out this vid. Sorry about the audio about half way through. Rick held his camera up over the windshield.
Such a fun weekend. My buddy, Rick, was visiting from San Diego. We got to get on the track at Driveway Austin and haul ass in a lotus. Got up to about 110mph and had a blast. Check out this vid. Sorry about the audio about half way through. Rick held his camera up over the windshield.
Such a fun weekend. My buddy, Rick, was visiting from San Diego. We got to get on the track at Driveway Austin and haul ass in a lotus. Got up to about 110mph and had a blast. Check out this vid. Sorry about the audio about half way through. Rick held his camera up over the windshield.
Such a fun weekend. My buddy, Rick, was visiting from San Diego. We got to get on the track at Driveway Austin and haul ass in a lotus. Got up to about 110mph and had a blast. Check out this vid. Sorry about the audio about half way through. Rick held his camera up over the windshield.
Such a fun weekend. My buddy, Rick, was visiting from San Diego. We got to get on the track at Driveway Austin and haul ass in a lotus. Got up to about 110mph and had a blast. Check out this vid. Sorry about the audio about half way through. Rick held his camera up over the windshield.
Such a fun weekend. My buddy, Rick, was visiting from San Diego. We got to get on the track at Driveway Austin and haul ass in a lotus. Got up to about 110mph and had a blast. Check out this vid. Sorry about the audio about half way through. Rick held his camera up over the windshield.
Such a fun weekend. My buddy, Rick, was visiting from San Diego. We got to get on the track at Driveway Austin and haul ass in a lotus. Got up to about 110mph and had a blast. Check out this vid. Sorry about the audio about half way through. Rick held his camera up over the windshield.
Such a fun weekend. My buddy, Rick, was visiting from San Diego. We got to get on the track at Driveway Austin and haul ass in a lotus. Got up to about 110mph and had a blast. Check out this vid. Sorry about the audio about half way through. Rick held his camera up over the windshield.
Here is the video from our seats on the final play of the game. Huge win for Tx!divbr //divdivbr //divobject width="320" height="266" class="BLOG_video_class" id="BLOG_video-263741d4f79ddc9f" classid="clsid:D27CDB6E-AE6D-11cf-96B8-444553540000" codebase="http://download.macromedia.com/pub/shockwave/cabs/flash/swflash.cab#version=6,0,40,0"param name="movie" value="http://www.blogger.com/img/videoplayer.swf?videoUrl=http%3A%2F%2Fv23.nonxt7.googlevideo.com%2Fvideoplayback%3Fid%3D263741d4f79ddc9f%26itag%3D5%26begin%3D0%26len%3D86400000%26app%3Dblogger%26et%3Dplay%26el%3DEMBEDDED%26ip%3D0.0.0.0%26ipbits%3D0%26expire%3D1276325523%26sparams%3Did%252Citag%252Cip%252Cipbits%252Cexpire%26signature%3D19D2AB3050FE38D778F310F8895E3BC03E5B8FBF.68D2BF70523509341A6C11E40E9A16428AEAB6A%26key%3Dck1amp;thumbnailUrl=http%3A%2F%2Fvideo.google.com%2FThumbnailServer2%3Fapp%3Dblogger%26contentid%3D263741d4f79ddc9f%26offsetms%3D5000%26itag%3Dw320%26sigh%3Dv3HrtpBJ5ct6acyLeMJjKITjUswamp;messagesUrl=video.google.com%2FFlashUiStrings.xlb%3Fframe%3Dflashstrings%26hl%3Denamp;nogvlm=1"param name="bgcolor" value="#FFFFFF"embed width="320" height="266" src="http://www.blogger.com/img/videoplayer.swf?videoUrl=http%3A%2F%2Fv23.nonxt7.googlevideo.com%2Fvideoplayback%3Fid%3D263741d4f79ddc9f%26itag%3D5%26begin%3D0%26len%3D86400000%26app%3Dblogger%26et%3Dplay%26el%3DEMBEDDED%26ip%3D0.0.0.0%26ipbits%3D0%26expire%3D1276325523%26sparams%3Did%252Citag%252Cip%252Cipbits%252Cexpire%26signature%3D19D2AB3050FE38D778F310F8895E3BC03E5B8FBF.68D2BF70523509341A6C11E40E9A16428AEAB6A%26key%3Dck1amp;thumbnailUrl=http%3A%2F%2Fvideo.google.com%2FThumbnailServer2%3Fapp%3Dblogger%26contentid%3D263741d4f79ddc9f%26offsetms%3D5000%26itag%3Dw320%26sigh%3Dv3HrtpBJ5ct6acyLeMJjKITjUswamp;messagesUrl=video.google.com%2FFlashUiStrings.xlb%3Fframe%3Dflashstrings%26hl%3Denamp;nogvlm=1" type="application/x-shockwave-flash"/embed/object
Here is the video from our seats on the final play of the game. Huge win for Tx!divbr //divdivbr //divobject width="320" height="266" class="BLOG_video_class" id="BLOG_video-263741d4f79ddc9f" classid="clsid:D27CDB6E-AE6D-11cf-96B8-444553540000" codebase="http://download.macromedia.com/pub/shockwave/cabs/flash/swflash.cab#version=6,0,40,0"param name="movie" value="http://www.blogger.com/img/videoplayer.swf?videoUrl=http%3A%2F%2Fv23.nonxt7.googlevideo.com%2Fvideoplayback%3Fid%3D263741d4f79ddc9f%26itag%3D5%26begin%3D0%26len%3D86400000%26app%3Dblogger%26et%3Dplay%26el%3DEMBEDDED%26ip%3D0.0.0.0%26ipbits%3D0%26expire%3D1275978627%26sparams%3Did%252Citag%252Cip%252Cipbits%252Cexpire%26signature%3D55AA4CCFEC162CEF0B85C875503ABBB381DAB7AA.1B2A79E0A692907E82618BF62860D96F5C0790D1%26key%3Dck1amp;thumbnailUrl=http%3A%2F%2Fvideo.google.com%2FThumbnailServer2%3Fapp%3Dblogger%26contentid%3D263741d4f79ddc9f%26offsetms%3D5000%26itag%3Dw320%26sigh%3Dv3HrtpBJ5ct6acyLeMJjKITjUswamp;messagesUrl=video.google.com%2FFlashUiStrings.xlb%3Fframe%3Dflashstrings%26hl%3Denamp;nogvlm=1"param name="bgcolor" value="#FFFFFF"embed width="320" height="266" src="http://www.blogger.com/img/videoplayer.swf?videoUrl=http%3A%2F%2Fv23.nonxt7.googlevideo.com%2Fvideoplayback%3Fid%3D263741d4f79ddc9f%26itag%3D5%26begin%3D0%26len%3D86400000%26app%3Dblogger%26et%3Dplay%26el%3DEMBEDDED%26ip%3D0.0.0.0%26ipbits%3D0%26expire%3D1275978627%26sparams%3Did%252Citag%252Cip%252Cipbits%252Cexpire%26signature%3D55AA4CCFEC162CEF0B85C875503ABBB381DAB7AA.1B2A79E0A692907E82618BF62860D96F5C0790D1%26key%3Dck1amp;thumbnailUrl=http%3A%2F%2Fvideo.google.com%2FThumbnailServer2%3Fapp%3Dblogger%26contentid%3D263741d4f79ddc9f%26offsetms%3D5000%26itag%3Dw320%26sigh%3Dv3HrtpBJ5ct6acyLeMJjKITjUswamp;messagesUrl=video.google.com%2FFlashUiStrings.xlb%3Fframe%3Dflashstrings%26hl%3Denamp;nogvlm=1" type="application/x-shockwave-flash"/embed/object
The following is an article I wrote for a href="http://www.rareaustin.com/"Rare Magazine/a for the Sept. Film issue. On stands at your favorite local boutiques and restaurants is the new "Food Issue".  Check out a href="http://www.rareaustin.com/"www.rareaustin.com/a for information on Restaurant week. divbr //divdiv______________/divdivbr //divdivbr //divMike Judge was dead on when he predicted the dumbing down of America in his film âIdiocracy.â He predicted that eventually the number one show will be âAwww, my Ballsâ and the Oscar winning film will be called âAssâ. The single reason we are bottom feeders for entertainment is the one and only YOUTUBE.br /br /Youtube is single handedly destroying films and civilization. I can prove it. I am going to start out on an indisputably pure subject and show you how quickly things fall apart. I log onto Youtube and search Mother Teresa, great philanthropist and winner of the Nobel Peace Prize in 1979.br /br /(Search) Mother Teresabr /The first video to catch my attention was video footage from a Mother Teresa documentary put to the U2 song âGraceâ. Watching it I learned two thingsâ¦Bono didnât always wear sunglasses and I will mentally remove Calcutta from my âplaces to visit before I dieâ list.br /42,794 viewsbr /br /(Related Video) U2 Angel of Harlembr /I felt the guilts for not staying on the Mother Teresa route. Youtube suggested more footage from documentaries about her, but I was ready to move on. Between Mother Teresa and Bono I was feeling pretty worthless. I napped most of the day and drank beer. Again, itâs weird to see Bonoâs eyes. 157,662 viewsbr /br /(Related Video) John Stevens â King of the Roadbr /Of course, many U2 video suggestions came up, but the one that compelled me to click was John Stevens singing âKing of the Roadâ. Remember John Stevens? The red headed crooner from season 3 of American Idol. Not only did he forget one of the lines on this performance, he lost to Fantasia! Loser. 24,958 viewsbr /br /(Related video) best tricks of KING OF THE ROADbr /Of course itâs inevitable that youtube take you to a skater video. Here it is in 3 moves from Mother Teresa! Iâm a sucker for good skate vids. This is a killer one. It has a naked skater, a couple of face plants, tattoos and thrashing tunes. Big props to them for not including a guy accidentally straddling a hand rail. 110,011 viewsbr /br /br /(Related Video) College Booty Shakebr /This is a webcam quality video of two college age girls doing a booty shake. If you are not familiar with Booty Shaking, itâs a type of dancing common among strippers. Itâs fairly sexy and exotic on both African American and Latin women. White women think they can do it, but look more as if they are suffering from hypothermia. The objective with booty shaking is act as if you are standing on a surfboard, but only move your butt up and down. This video in particular is more focused on the two girls making out, a common theme on Youtube.br /Views: 406,986br /br /I have clicked on every single related video and they are all girls booty shaking. Many of them have over one million views. Itâs impossible to leave this subject. This experiment is officially over!br /br /Once you jump into booty shaking, itâs impossible to leave. Who are they making these videoâs for? Their boyfriends? Their girlfriends? I canât tell. There are some common threads with the booty shake vids. They are usually shot in a cluttered bedroom. There are usually two or more girls, the beefier one seems to always be initiating things. I think the beefy girls are using the skinny girls for web hits and attention. However, I donât think the skinny girls would make this video alone, so I should really be thanking the fat one. âThank you fat girl!âbr /br /We went from Mother Teresa to girls shaking it in your face in a measly 4 moves. What does that say about us and our society? The shear number of hits with skateboarding and booty shake videos are staggering. Any aspiring filmmaker who wants to take a cue from this should be developing a script staring Tony Hawk and Kim Kardashian. Itâs a runaway hit.br /br /Who needs mega box office smash hits staring pretty people like Will Smith or Angelina Jolie? Besides, I was tired of films set âBefore civilization beganâ or âAfter it endedâ⦠in middle Earth or outer space anyway.br /Bring on the booty and bust an olie for me. My 8 bucks for the movie ticket is all yours.
The following is an article I wrote for Rare Magazine for the Sept. Film issue. On stands at your favorite local boutiques and restaurants is the new "Food Issue".  Check out www.rareaustin.com for information on Restaurant week.Â
______________
Mike Judge was dead on when he predicted the dumbing down of America in his film âIdiocracy.â He predicted that eventually the number one show will be âAwww, my Ballsâ and the Oscar winning film will be called âAssâ. The single reason we are bottom feeders for entertainment is the one and only YOUTUBE.
Youtube is single handedly destroying films and civilization. I can prove it. I am going to start out on an indisputably pure subject and show you how quickly things fall apart. I log onto Youtube and search Mother Teresa, great philanthropist and winner of the Nobel Peace Prize in 1979.
(Search) Mother Teresa The first video to catch my attention was video footage from a Mother Teresa documentary put to the U2 song âGraceâ. Watching it I learned two thingsâ¦Bono didnât always wear sunglasses and I will mentally remove Calcutta from my âplaces to visit before I dieâ list. 42,794 views
(Related Video) U2 Angel of Harlem I felt the guilts for not staying on the Mother Teresa route. Youtube suggested more footage from documentaries about her, but I was ready to move on. Between Mother Teresa and Bono I was feeling pretty worthless. I napped most of the day and drank beer. Again, itâs weird to see Bonoâs eyes. 157,662 views
(Related Video) John Stevens â King of the Road Of course, many U2 video suggestions came up, but the one that compelled me to click was John Stevens singing âKing of the Roadâ. Remember John Stevens? The red headed crooner from season 3 of American Idol. Not only did he forget one of the lines on this performance, he lost to Fantasia! Loser. 24,958 views
(Related video) best tricks of KING OF THE ROAD Of course itâs inevitable that youtube take you to a skater video. Here it is in 3 moves from Mother Teresa! Iâm a sucker for good skate vids. This is a killer one. It has a naked skater, a couple of face plants, tattoos and thrashing tunes. Big props to them for not including a guy accidentally straddling a hand rail. 110,011 views
(Related Video) College Booty Shake This is a webcam quality video of two college age girls doing a booty shake. If you are not familiar with Booty Shaking, itâs a type of dancing common among strippers. Itâs fairly sexy and exotic on both African American and Latin women. White women think they can do it, but look more as if they are suffering from hypothermia. The objective with booty shaking is act as if you are standing on a surfboard, but only move your butt up and down. This video in particular is more focused on the two girls making out, a common theme on Youtube. Views: 406,986
I have clicked on every single related video and they are all girls booty shaking. Many of them have over one million views. Itâs impossible to leave this subject. This experiment is officially over!
Once you jump into booty shaking, itâs impossible to leave. Who are they making these videoâs for? Their boyfriends? Their girlfriends? I canât tell. There are some common threads with the booty shake vids. They are usually shot in a cluttered bedroom. There are usually two or more girls, the beefier one seems to always be initiating things. I think the beefy girls are using the skinny girls for web hits and attention. However, I donât think the skinny girls would make this video alone, so I should really be thanking the fat one. âThank you fat girl!â
We went from Mother Teresa to girls shaking it in your face in a measly 4 moves. What does that say about us and our society? The shear number of hits with skateboarding and booty shake videos are staggering. Any aspiring filmmaker who wants to take a cue from this should be developing a script staring Tony Hawk and Kim Kardashian. Itâs a runaway hit.
Who needs mega box office smash hits staring pretty people like Will Smith or Angelina Jolie? Besides, I was tired of films set âBefore civilization beganâ or âAfter it endedâ⦠in middle Earth or outer space anyway. Bring on the booty and bust an olie for me. My 8 bucks for the movie ticket is all yours.
divVery nice guy. Here with my wife and his wife, Kim. Did you know he lives in Central, Tx now?/divdivbr //diva onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/_dHmav2z1o1o/SOC_lHFKtII/AAAAAAAAEjI/99i0ufY7Qjs/s1600-h/CIMG3369.JPG"img style="display:block; margin:0px auto 10px; text-align:center;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;" src="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/_dHmav2z1o1o/SOC_lHFKtII/AAAAAAAAEjI/99i0ufY7Qjs/s200/CIMG3369.JPG" border="0" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5251407809790784642" //a
divBelow is my September article for a href="http://www.rareaustin.com"Rare Magazine. /a/divdivenjoy... jb/divdivbr //divI imagine that most students today are tired of hearing how hard it âused to beâ. âWe didnât have computers, the internet, blah, blah, blahâ. Iâll admit. I fantasize about what it would be like to be in college today. Could you imagine the possibilites? If you are about my age, you remember that we didnât have cell phones and we would sign up for computer lab just to write a paper. Now, your syllabus and class notes are all online. Your fellow students are easy to track down via myspace and facebook. Answers are just a google search away and getting laid is just a few flirty text messages in front of you. Itâs the best of both worlds, your school work is easier and your social life it lined up for you online. Right?br /br /Wrong! Iâve come full circle on my opinion of students today. You guys have it rough. Much harder than any of us could imagine. I really started thinking about all of the things that are out there to distract you from your studies. I realize that had those things been at my disposal when I was a student, accomplishing anything would be impossible. I was a bad enough student back in the day. To try to pull it off today⦠impossible.br /br /Letâs start with all the distractions on your phone. The more and more phones become like computers, the more trouble youâre in. The time wasting, the web browsing. I canât imagine how much time the average student spends text messaging with their friends. Email is becoming the standard on a phone/pda. When are you ever alone? Never. Youâre always a buzzing phone away from catching up on gossip or being invited out with friends. To me, the biggest distraction from being a good student would be text message flirting. I would have been ALL OVER THIS. Thank goodness Iâm now old enough, married and have some success at managing my libido. At 21, it would have been GAME ON. If any girls were foolish enough to give me their cell phone numbers, the text message flirting would have started at about 6pm and not quit until I found one of them at at a bar having had too much to drink. Vodka and text messaging are a wonderful and amazing combination, but bad for studying.br /br /T.V. has hit a whole new level of preoccupation. I donât recall television being that big of a factor as I was growing up. It was nice, sometimes entertaining, but it didnât posses all the guilty pleasures it does today. Everyone I know has at least one guilty pleasure reality show. Have you noticed how many of these shows are targeted right at high school and college students? Back in the day I had to have my fill of Letterman or SNL, but these days, who canât fall victim to a marathon of The Hills, Miami Ink, The Girls Next Door, Americaâs Next Top Model, Celebrity Intervention, Rock of Love or I Love New York? T.V. has gotten so meaningless and trashy, but undeniably pleasurable, definitely a distraction from Biology.br /br /I donât even know where to start with computers. I think we all know what a huge diversion they are to every day living. Weâre all lead to believe that this might be the greatest, most essential tool for a student today, but itâs probably the opposite. I think back to the people and ran around with in college. Had they had the internet at their disposal like students today, most of them would have never graduated. I would say that at least a quarter of them would have quit going to class and took up day trading full time. Another quarter would have been too tired to go to class because they were up all night gambling online. Another twenty five percent of the people I knew in college would have been starting an online business of some sort, in an effort to get rich quick. The rest of the guys I knew would have been addicted to internet porn and never left the house. Think about that the next time you set foot in an all-male dorm.br /br /My point is. Think about how much time you waste with your phone, television and computers. Imagine having that pressure when you were a student. Throw on top of that the same distractions we had when we were student, primarily alcohol and sex. You still have the age old pressures of Cain and Ables, Posse East and Sixth Street. How does anyone ever make it to class or how does a research paper ever get written?br /br /I commend any of you that are reading this and able to focus on your studies long enough to make the grades. I really donât know how you do it. There are far too many distractions in day to day life for ANY student to ever succeed. In fact, any student who is completely able to focus on their studies gives me the creeps. There must be something wrong with you because our technological advances are just plain fun, dirty and time wasting! Next time you are thinking about studying a little English literature, instead try a little myspace, facebook, jump on ebay. When you research paper is due Psych class, instead see whatâs up on linkedin, Perez Hilton, or punch up a quick âcasual encounterâ on Craiglist. Got lab or group study time? Fire up the Playstation or Wii.br /br /If any of you students are getting a hard time and a lecture from your parents about how easy you have it and how it âused to beâ, try this. Grab you mom by the arm, march her over the computer and take her to smartbargains.com or even worse, neimanmarcus.com and ask her if she could focus on reading a chapter of Anthropology. If your dad gives you the same grief, grab him by the ear, pull him over to the computer and show him youporn.com and ask him âDid you have THIS when you were in school?â I think they theyâll understand.
I imagine that most students today are tired of hearing how hard it âused to beâ. âWe didnât have computers, the internet, blah, blah, blahâ. Iâll admit. I fantasize about what it would be like to be in college today. Could you imagine the possibilites? If you are about my age, you remember that we didnât have cell phones and we would sign up for computer lab just to write a paper. Now, your syllabus and class notes are all online. Your fellow students are easy to track down via myspace and facebook. Answers are just a google search away and getting laid is just a few flirty text messages in front of you. Itâs the best of both worlds, your school work is easier and your social life it lined up for you online. Right?
Wrong! Iâve come full circle on my opinion of students today. You guys have it rough. Much harder than any of us could imagine. I really started thinking about all of the things that are out there to distract you from your studies. I realize that had those things been at my disposal when I was a student, accomplishing anything would be impossible. I was a bad enough student back in the day. To try to pull it off today⦠impossible.
Letâs start with all the distractions on your phone. The more and more phones become like computers, the more trouble youâre in. The time wasting, the web browsing. I canât imagine how much time the average student spends text messaging with their friends. Email is becoming the standard on a phone/pda. When are you ever alone? Never. Youâre always a buzzing phone away from catching up on gossip or being invited out with friends. To me, the biggest distraction from being a good student would be text message flirting. I would have been ALL OVER THIS. Thank goodness Iâm now old enough, married and have some success at managing my libido. At 21, it would have been GAME ON. If any girls were foolish enough to give me their cell phone numbers, the text message flirting would have started at about 6pm and not quit until I found one of them at at a bar having had too much to drink. Vodka and text messaging are a wonderful and amazing combination, but bad for studying.
T.V. has hit a whole new level of preoccupation. I donât recall television being that big of a factor as I was growing up. It was nice, sometimes entertaining, but it didnât posses all the guilty pleasures it does today. Everyone I know has at least one guilty pleasure reality show. Have you noticed how many of these shows are targeted right at high school and college students? Back in the day I had to have my fill of Letterman or SNL, but these days, who canât fall victim to a marathon of The Hills, Miami Ink, The Girls Next Door, Americaâs Next Top Model, Celebrity Intervention, Rock of Love or I Love New York? T.V. has gotten so meaningless and trashy, but undeniably pleasurable, definitely a distraction from Biology.
I donât even know where to start with computers. I think we all know what a huge diversion they are to every day living. Weâre all lead to believe that this might be the greatest, most essential tool for a student today, but itâs probably the opposite. I think back to the people and ran around with in college. Had they had the internet at their disposal like students today, most of them would have never graduated. I would say that at least a quarter of them would have quit going to class and took up day trading full time. Another quarter would have been too tired to go to class because they were up all night gambling online. Another twenty five percent of the people I knew in college would have been starting an online business of some sort, in an effort to get rich quick. The rest of the guys I knew would have been addicted to internet porn and never left the house. Think about that the next time you set foot in an all-male dorm.
My point is. Think about how much time you waste with your phone, television and computers. Imagine having that pressure when you were a student. Throw on top of that the same distractions we had when we were student, primarily alcohol and sex. You still have the age old pressures of Cain and Ables, Posse East and Sixth Street. How does anyone ever make it to class or how does a research paper ever get written?
I commend any of you that are reading this and able to focus on your studies long enough to make the grades. I really donât know how you do it. There are far too many distractions in day to day life for ANY student to ever succeed. In fact, any student who is completely able to focus on their studies gives me the creeps. There must be something wrong with you because our technological advances are just plain fun, dirty and time wasting! Next time you are thinking about studying a little English literature, instead try a little myspace, facebook, jump on ebay. When you research paper is due Psych class, instead see whatâs up on linkedin, Perez Hilton, or punch up a quick âcasual encounterâ on Craiglist. Got lab or group study time? Fire up the Playstation or Wii.
If any of you students are getting a hard time and a lecture from your parents about how easy you have it and how it âused to beâ, try this. Grab you mom by the arm, march her over the computer and take her to smartbargains.com or even worse, neimanmarcus.com and ask her if she could focus on reading a chapter of Anthropology. If your dad gives you the same grief, grab him by the ear, pull him over to the computer and show him youporn.com and ask him âDid you have THIS when you were in school?â I think they theyâll understand.
divHad a great time hanging with our good friend, Tim Sanders. Pick up his new book, available online and in stores as of yesterday!/divdivbr //diva onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/_dHmav2z1o1o/SNER-RoGxVI/AAAAAAAAEVU/RBORtv_KRSk/s1600-h/Saving-the-World-at-Work-Book.jpg"img style="display:block; margin:0px auto 10px; text-align:center;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;" src="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/_dHmav2z1o1o/SNER-RoGxVI/AAAAAAAAEVU/RBORtv_KRSk/s200/Saving-the-World-at-Work-Book.jpg" border="0" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5246994802444518738" //abr /a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/_dHmav2z1o1o/SNER-oaBj7I/AAAAAAAAEVc/6vDQXFT1ePA/s1600-h/CIMG3272.JPG"img style="display:block; margin:0px auto 10px; text-align:center;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;" src="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/_dHmav2z1o1o/SNER-oaBj7I/AAAAAAAAEVc/6vDQXFT1ePA/s200/CIMG3272.JPG" border="0" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5246994808559472562" //a
Did you join our "friends with benefits" program at a href="http://www.mix947.com/"www.mix947.com/a? If you did then you got the newsletter today that Matt Nathason is coming to our studio's on Friday. I love this guy. I have been listening to his new cd for quite awhile, was thrilled when Mix added his new song "Come on, get higher". Â Check out the video:divbr //divdivbr //divobject width="425" height="344"param name="movie" value="http://www.youtube.com/v/v7xTRh6G784amp;hl=enamp;fs=1"param name="allowFullScreen" value="true"embed src="http://www.youtube.com/v/v7xTRh6G784amp;hl=enamp;fs=1" type="application/x-shockwave-flash" allowfullscreen="true" width="425" height="344"/embed/objectbr /br /I first heard of this guy years ago. He was brave enough to do a cover version of one of my favorite songs, "Laid" by James. Â It's a killer song from the early 90's that you might recongnize. It may also ring a bell because it was on one of the American Pie Soundracks. Here is a fun version of Matt doing it at a live show:divbr //divdivbr /divbr //divdivbr //div/divobject width="425" height="344"param name="movie" value="http://www.youtube.com/v/eo21umg_Btkamp;hl=enamp;fs=1"param name="allowFullScreen" value="true"embed src="http://www.youtube.com/v/eo21umg_Btkamp;hl=enamp;fs=1" type="application/x-shockwave-flash" allowfullscreen="true" width="425" height="344"/embed/objectbr /br /Now, in case you have never seen them, you have to check out James doing "Laid". This song was HUGE, especially in the U.K. Check out how crazy the crowd is and how into it they are. Also, it's interesting going back and watching old footage of James. I think at some point Michael Stipe of R.E.M. saw Tim Booth of James and decided he wanted to look and act just like that on stage. Maybe it's just coincidence, but check out this old concert vid of James:divbr //divdivbr //divobject width="425" height="344"param name="movie" value="http://www.youtube.com/v/Ol-KrTTta4gamp;hl=enamp;fs=1"param name="allowFullScreen" value="true"embed src="http://www.youtube.com/v/Ol-KrTTta4gamp;hl=enamp;fs=1" type="application/x-shockwave-flash" allowfullscreen="true" width="425" height="344"/embed/object
Did you join our "friends with benefits" program at www.mix947.com? If you did then you got the newsletter today that Matt Nathason is coming to our studio's on Friday. I love this guy. I have been listening to his new cd for quite awhile, was thrilled when Mix added his new song "Come on, get higher". Â Check out the video:
I first heard of this guy years ago. He was brave enough to do a cover version of one of my favorite songs, "Laid" by James. Â It's a killer song from the early 90's that you might recongnize. It may also ring a bell because it was on one of the American Pie Soundracks. Here is a fun version of Matt doing it at a live show:
Now, in case you have never seen them, you have to check out James doing "Laid". This song was HUGE, especially in the U.K. Check out how crazy the crowd is and how into it they are. Also, it's interesting going back and watching old footage of James. I think at some point Michael Stipe of R.E.M. saw Tim Booth of James and decided he wanted to look and act just like that on stage. Maybe it's just coincidence, but check out this old concert vid of James:
Never have I had more response than the "Douchebag article" that I wrote for Rare Magazine last month. I refer to this article as "Ode to Bobby Bones". Very fitting for this a-hole. Isn't it horrible when you try to do some good in your industry and you have complete d-bags ruining your industry by making it as moronic as possible. Real "lowest common denominator" material.
Anyway, enjoy the dbag article from last months Rare Magazine:
My absolute goal here today is to talk to those of you who are young men in your twenties. I work with a lot of young women and they came to me and asked if I could do something about all the men in their twenties. They canât stand them because they claim they all act like total douche bags. I completely understand why they date men in their thirties. Young men in your twenties, you ARE acting like total douche bags! Stop it right now. Itâs absolutely out of control.
What has happened in recent years. I promised them I would do my part to try to get the word out. Douchism is very similar to narcissism, but with more cheeseball flair. Sometimes even being âcockyâ is acceptable, if you can back it up, but being a DB is uncalled for and you do not impress anyone. Let me fill you in on what a douche bag is and you can decipher for yourself if you ARE one.
Are you a douchebag? Pop quiz number 1:
When you go out with your boys for the evening, does your outfit head to toe cost more than your monthly rent?
Have you ever spent more than $200 on a pair of sunglasses and do you put them on top of your head even if you are going out after dark?
Do you watch âThe Hillsâ and not get completely frustrated with the guys?
Do you deny that you work at a kiosk in the Mall?
Have you upgraded your phone so many times that you are now up to a 10 year contract with your provider?
Do you pay the valet guy an extra 20 to put your Honda up front and does it have a huge exhaust system?
Do you overuse nicknames for women with your buddies? Ex: âCheck out that baby, honey, cougar, kitten, spinner, etcâ¦
Do you love Bottle Service at bars?
Do you look at the ads in GQ or a Brit Pop musician?
Have you modified your name to give it hairdresser type flair, such as changing Gerald to JuRahld?
Do you pick out shirts based on how the material feels or if your nipple ring with show?
Do you have a hookup at the gym to get supplements that you donât see at a GNC?
Do you ever wear compression gear when your NOT working out?
Do you like it when people think you are talking to them when you are shouting to your Bluetooth earpiece?
Do you act like a big baller on a Vegas trip and have 8 guys crashing in one room?
Do you think itâs o.k. to jump in with a group of girls dancing with each other?
Do you talk about yourself in third person?
Do you have more than one type of hair styling product and/or do you use more than one mirror to look at your hair from other angles?
Are you a douchebag? Do you use any of this terminology on a regular basis?
Pop quiz number 2.
Shituation
n.: a bad situation.
âLooks like we may have a shituation on our hands, I donât know either of those door guysâ
A Bag o' Beagles
Term used to ridicule a woman with a less than fit posterior.
âShe shouldnât even try to squeeze into 7âs sportin a bag oâ beagles like that.â
Textual Relations
To engage in dirty talk with ones partner via text message.
âHold on dog, go on outside to smoke without me, Iâm in mid textual relations with that baby from earlier tonight.â
Rut ro
âUh ohâ in Scooby doo language.
âRut ro, looks like JuRahld (I) done forgot his ATM card.â
Barsexual
A term used to describe girlfriends that kiss at bars when drunk, usually do get attention. The female DB.
âLetâs roll up on dem barsexuals, smells of easy pickins, love dem bachelorette partays.â
Make it rain
Term used by a DB to convince the bouncer they are going to spend a lot of money if he letâs his posse in. It will be raining currency.
âYo dog, weâve been on da wrong side da velvet rope for over an hour. We promise to make it rain once we get in.â
Wi-five
This is what DBâs do to each other when on opposite sides of the room. Itâs a pretend, mid-air hi five, usually because heâs talking to a girl.
âWhy you wi-fivin that a-hole. He tried to steal your look.â
Clark Kent job.
This is what most DBâs call their job. Itâs an excuse for why they work at a kiosk. Just a day job, a cover for saving the planet.
âSelling gyro-copters at the mall is just my Clark Kent job, me and my boys are working on building one of the skyscraper condo deals.â
askhole
Someone who asks many stupid, pointless, obnoxious questions. Most DBâs are askholes themselves, but donât know it.
âWho you callin askhole, askhole?â
Textpectation
Some poor girl mistakenly gave a DB her number and he starts texting her that same night. This is the lag time between the DB asking if he can come over and her response.
âIâm throwin it out the
re to meet her at an after hours party, but my textpectations tell me sheâll reply to just come over to my place to break of a piece oâ me.â
And as for you twenty something chicks, I hold you partially responsible for this mess we are in today. If you would stop talking to these guys and giving them your phone numbers, this would all go away and you wouldnât have to pull and Anna Nicole and date 90 year old men.
div style="margin: 0px auto 10px; text-align: center;"Had another tough day in Austin, Tx yesterday. Sandy took us out on his boat for some wakesurfing. Raleigh and I were somehow able to both pop up on the board and cruise for a long time. Raleigh would just stand on the front of the board and didn't have to hang on to me or anything. I may have some video of this coming soon. What a blast.br /br /a href="http://bp2.blogger.com/_dHmav2z1o1o/SJBRGqO6brI/AAAAAAAAEJI/8oLUJX7PrHg/s1600-h/surfing+on+sandys+boat+july+08+004.jpg"img alt="" src="http://bp2.blogger.com/_dHmav2z1o1o/SJBRGqO6brI/AAAAAAAAEJI/8oLUJX7PrHg/s160/surfing+on+sandys+boat+july+08+004.jpg" border="0" //a /divbr /div style="margin: 0px auto 10px; text-align: center;"a href="http://bp1.blogger.com/_dHmav2z1o1o/SJBRGr3x5MI/AAAAAAAAEJQ/mlNeQIH1pAc/s1600-h/surfing+on+sandys+boat+july+08+009.jpg"img alt="" src="http://bp1.blogger.com/_dHmav2z1o1o/SJBRGr3x5MI/AAAAAAAAEJQ/mlNeQIH1pAc/s160/surfing+on+sandys+boat+july+08+009.jpg" border="0" //a /divbr /div style="margin: 0px auto 10px; text-align: center;"a href="http://bp2.blogger.com/_dHmav2z1o1o/SJBRG_sJKyI/AAAAAAAAEJY/Mf_2kUzL7jQ/s1600-h/surfing+on+sandys+boat+july+08+010.jpg"img alt="" src="http://bp2.blogger.com/_dHmav2z1o1o/SJBRG_sJKyI/AAAAAAAAEJY/Mf_2kUzL7jQ/s160/surfing+on+sandys+boat+july+08+010.jpg" border="0" //a /divdiv style="clear: both; text-align: center;"a href="http://picasa.google.com/blogger/" target="ext"img src="http://photos1.blogger.com/pbp.gif" alt="Posted by Picasa" style="border: 0px none ; padding: 0px; background: transparent none repeat scroll 0% 50%; -moz-background-clip: -moz-initial; -moz-background-origin: -moz-initial; -moz-background-inline-policy: -moz-initial;" align="middle" border="0" //a/div
Had another tough day in Austin, Tx yesterday. Sandy took us out on his boat for some wakesurfing. Raleigh and I were somehow able to both pop up on the board and cruise for a long time. Raleigh would just stand on the front of the board and didn't have to hang on to me or anything. I may have some video of this coming soon. What a blast.
Just finished a book called Everyday Zen by Charlotte Joko Beck. This is an older book 1989 (at least old on westerners looking for enlightenment standards) but it's a must read for any westerner looking for Eastern Enlightenment. I put the book down for quite awhile when the author suggests that enlightenment is too difficult for most to achieve, it's a lot harder than anyone knows, very few achieve it so she suggests picking up a new hobby instead. Can you believe that?br /Anyway, by the end of the book I loved it. There are some great stories which will give you some "ah hah" moments as things apply to your life. You sort of leave on a high note that to best path to happiness is helping others. It's really trying to say "get over yourself!"br /br /This is a good book to read if you if you have found that most Eastern religion just doesn't apply to our Western/American culture. I have read some of the other books that suggest going on a journeys into the mountains for enlightenment, blah, blah, blah. I just can't take off in the Tibet mountains when contractually have to be at work from 6-10am at the very least. I have joked for sometime that there needs to be what I call "Sea level enlightenment". Do we really have to take off for the mountains in strappy sandals and a small bag of berries for survival? I'm not really into talking to burning bushes, I much prefer people.br /br /If you're a chronic worrier, you will find this book helpful.br /This just might be that book I was looking for.... you might be too. Couldn't find it locally, so I would suggest Amazon.br /br /a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://bp1.blogger.com/_dHmav2z1o1o/SI4UUTCogpI/AAAAAAAAEIw/lFYNOfelqyM/s1600-h/Beck+Everyday+Zen.jpg"img style="margin: 0px auto 10px; display: block; text-align: center; cursor: pointer;" src="http://bp1.blogger.com/_dHmav2z1o1o/SI4UUTCogpI/AAAAAAAAEIw/lFYNOfelqyM/s200/Beck+Everyday+Zen.jpg" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5228138556364980882" border="0" //a
Just finished a book called Everyday Zen by Charlotte Joko Beck. This is an older book 1989 (at least old on westerners looking for enlightenment standards) but it's a must read for any westerner looking for Eastern Enlightenment. I put the book down for quite awhile when the author suggests that enlightenment is too difficult for most to achieve, it's a lot harder than anyone knows, very few achieve it so she suggests picking up a new hobby instead. Can you believe that? Anyway, by the end of the book I loved it. There are some great stories which will give you some "ah hah" moments as things apply to your life. You sort of leave on a high note that to best path to happiness is helping others. It's really trying to say "get over yourself!"
This is a good book to read if you if you have found that most Eastern religion just doesn't apply to our Western/American culture. I have read some of the other books that suggest going on a journeys into the mountains for enlightenment, blah, blah, blah. I just can't take off in the Tibet mountains when contractually have to be at work from 6-10am at the very least. I have joked for sometime that there needs to be what I call "Sea level enlightenment". Do we really have to take off for the mountains in strappy sandals and a small bag of berries for survival? I'm not really into talking to burning bushes, I much prefer people.
If you're a chronic worrier, you will find this book helpful. This just might be that book I was looking for.... you might be too. Couldn't find it locally, so I would suggest Amazon.
This was the second year that Kim from a href="http://www.parentwiseaustin.com/"Parentwise magazine/a had me back for a fathers day article. I really like writing for this magazine because it challenges me in a whole different way. I don't just get to crank out my usually inappropriateness. :) I also try to tackle something a bit more meaningful that might connect with someone. Anyway, here is what I wrote for the June issue:br /br /p class="MsoNormal"It was six and a half years ago I became a father. My wife and I were ready; we had discussed it at great length considering it took time and a team of scientific experts to get pregnant. We read all the parenting literature available. We were level headed adults who felt everything falling into place. /p p class="MsoNormal"o:p /o:pThen the baby came⦠November 26supth/sup, 2001, a day early. That doesnât sound like a big deal, but my wife knew something wasnât ârightâ. An early Dr. visit turned into an emergency C-section. We almost lost our little girl. Had we waited another day, we would have most likely would have. The surgery saved her and brought into this world a perfect little girl. Within a few days were home and starting our new life as young, proud, optimistic parents. After about 4-5 days our daughter started crying, kept crying and seemed as if it was never going to stop. The crying started on November 30supth/sup at about 6pm and lasted until August of 2002, about nine months! We had given birth to a colicky monster. I donât think anyone can fully grasp the intensity of colic unless they have lived it. We looked for every solution on earth. Our doctors had no answers; they would just calm us down and tell us it will pass. We bought ever gimmick known to man to help; gas drops, special blankets, clothing, swings, mood cdâs, special lighting, and even a vibration machine that attached to the springs of her crib. Driving helped somewhat. We spent the better half of the year just âdrivingâ./p p class="MsoNormal"o:p /o:pDuring this time I was on my first year of an exciting radio job in st1:city st="on"st1:place st="on"Dallas/st1:place/st1:city. My co-workers had no idea we were falling apart at home. It seemed out of line and selfish to tell anyone, including friends, what was going on. My wife and I could slowly see each other unraveling. Everything became a fog with the lack of sleep. My wife and I were as worried about each other, as much as the baby, but we would both faked being âo.k.â I wanted so badly to let my wife sleep through just one night, but she was determined to breast feed the first year, but was only able to pump far enough ahead so that I could cover one feeding, occasionally. My wife, a person who has always had every single aspect of her life in order, was starting to look very, very scared. She knew the difficulties I was having at work and would try to let me sleep from midnight til 4:30am. I recall her on several occasions waking me up at 4:15 and asking me if she could just sleep for 15 minutes before I left. We hardly recognized each other. She was barely able to eat enough because she was always walking in circles, comforting the baby. My diet had gone to hell out of convenience. Translation; I was porking out, she was withering away. We were desperate, tired, confused and going insane. One thing that we understood was why there are so many stories of shaken babies in the news. We werenât ever going to hurt her, but we understood that temporary insanity truly does exist. I remember one of my friends calling from st1:city st="on"st1:place st="on"Austin/st1:place/st1:city, the baby was wailing and I said to him âDonât EVER have sex with a woman⦠EVER.â Then I held the phone up the crying. Throughout my life I have always been able to find humor in just about any situation. This was the last time I would be funny for awhile./p p class="MsoNormal"o:p /o:pAs my wife and I slip into pure lunacy, I came home with the news I had just been fired. I was offered my job back in st1:city st="on"st1:place st="on"Austin/st1:place/st1:city. I packed a suitcase and moved into a LaQuinta in st1:place st="on"SW Austin/st1:place. A hotel was no place for a crying baby and two barking dogs. My wife stayed behind in st1:city st="on"st1:place st="on"Dallas/st1:place/st1:city to show the house to realtors. I would spend the day trying to get my job back to normal and the evenings trying to talk my wife off the ledge. I needed to get them to st1:city st="on"st1:place st="on"Austin/st1:place/st1:city a.s.a.p. I found a house that was just âo.k.â and offered full asking price. I offered the woman more if she could be out in a week. The day we walked into our new house we wanted to cry because it was such a project, there was almost no way we could move into it. We now had a crying baby, two dogs and house full of workers every day. /p p class="MsoNormal"span style=""/spanAt about nine months the crying stopped. For the first time, we felt like we could venture out of the house and re-acclimate ourselves to society. Slowly, and I mean SLOWLY, we started to realize everything was going to be o.k. We hadnât given birth to Satanâs child after all. Our daughter is six and a half now and an amazing well adjusted child. We felt guilty for so long because of all of the tension and worry she had to pick up from us. It took us years to shake it. This made us realize just how vulnerable our mental health is and what people can take for granted. We didnât go âover the edgeâ but we got an awful damn good look over it./p p class="MsoNormal"o:p/o:pWhenever we meet someone who tells us that they have or have had a baby with colic, I feel an instant connection. If they are going through it right then, I want to hug them and cry with them. Others wonât understand like we do. I would take in a complete strangerâs baby for one night if it meant then could get ONE nights sleep. /p p class="MsoNormal"o:p/o:pThe closest I have ever come to killing another person was a âknow it allâ guy who explained to me that âColic is a western culture problem and that if you just do the right thing, the problem doesnât exist.â I considered killing this guy. Doing hard time and getting some rest didnât seem so bad. My wife and I shared years later that we secretly wished for an illness or injury to hospitalize us during those nine months, just so we could get some sleep./p p class="MsoNormal"o:p/o:pI know all parents feel like their child is âspecialâ. Very few âspecialâ children almost KILL their parents. We survived! We have grown stronger. I feel like seeing our daughter happy is twice as rewarding because of what we went through. Parenthood is an amazing thing. I donât know if I would change a thing if I had to do it all over again. I like the way our little girl turned out and maybe the crying had something to do with it. Weâre different too. I think we have more understanding and empathy for others. When we talk to new parents and ask if the baby is sleeping, we are genuinely happy when you say yes. Itâs not just meaningless chit chat. If they say no, our hearts go out to them in a way thatâs immeasurable./p p class="MsoNormal"o:p /o:pspan style=""br //span/p
