This past Monday Dallas Cowboys owner Jerry Jones fired his head coach, Wade Phillips. Today I’ve learned from one of my many unreliable sources that Jones will soon announce his new pick for head coach will be Snooki, star from the hit TV series Jersey Shore. When asked why Snooki, Jones replied, “Are you kidding? Snooki is hot and I love to watch her on TV! And if America is dumb enough to watch a bunch of losers on Jersey Shore, they’re bound to watch a bunch of losers play in Dallas, Texas.”
Jones, the smartest business man on the planet, further explained his Snooki decision would leverage his ability to show Jersey Shore episodes on the ginormous, 25,000 square foot, $40 million, HDTV video screens hanging in Cowboys Stadium. Jones is pure genius.
Snooki could not be reached for comment but you can congratulate her here.