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The Unknown Blogger




And the Meek Shall Inherit the Earth?

As cockroaches are the most likely inhabitants of the Earth post 12/21/12, I decided to interview an ordinary cockroach I found roaming the streets. I was hoping for some thought-provoking insights of the impending apocalypse and I must say I was somewhat disappointed. Here is an excerpt from the exclusive interview.

Unknown Blogger: Excuse me Mr. Cockroach but I was hoping I could ask you a few questions about the end of the world.

Mr. Cockroach:  Well, I was hoping to get started on the chicken wing I see over there but yeah, I have some time.

Unknown Blogger: Awesome. So will the world end on 12/21/12?

Mr. Cockroach: Yes.

Unknown Blogger: Would you care to expand on that a little bit more?

Mr. Cockroach: Um, I’d really like to get started on that chicken wing.

Unknown Blogger: I see. What if I bring you the chicken wing and you can get started on it while I ask you more questions?

Mr. Cockroach: That would save me a lot of crawling. Thanks.

Unknown Blogger: So is there anything we can do to stop the world from ending?

Mr. Cockroach: [munching on the chicken wing with its “mouth” full] Buy a new calendar at Barns & Noble. Just cuz the Mayan calendar ended doesn’t mean the world has to end.

Unknown Blogger: Wow! Thanks. I’ll let you finish your chicken wing and I can run and tell the world.

Mr. Cockroach: Whatever, dumbass.
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Happy End of the World

End of the WorldApparently some people believe that May 21, 2011 is the beginning of the end of the world as we know it. Me thinks somebody has been listening to way too much REM. If the world comes to an end tomorrow, that's fine with me. I was booked to perform at a Bar Mitzvah tomorrow that I wasn't looking forward to because let's face it, Jewish children coming of age, high on cake and punch and forced to memorize Torah, are not very friendly towards a guy wearing a bag on his head, telling fart jokes. So, happy end of the world to my family, friends and millions of Unknown Blogger fans.
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