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The Unknown Blogger

Thinking of Katy

thinkingofkaty.jpgI have disgraced myself for ever doubting the many talents of Katy Perry. I listened to her songs like “I Kissed a Girl” and “Blah, Blah, Whatever Else She Sings” and immediately dismissed her. But then I listened to her song, “Thinking of You” and it was then I knew – I was wrong. Not only was I wrong but I now know I was masquerading my true feelings. My emotions stripped raw by “Thinking of You,” I now see the truth and the truth is this - I love you Katy! Will you ever forgive my insolence? Trying to explain why “Thinking of You” changed my mind about Katy is like trying to explain the beauty of a single daisy. So I won't try. Instead, I'll now devote my life to meeting her and, with her grace, righting the wrong. I will not rest until I kneel before her and beg for her forgiveness. Katy: If you're reading this, please contact me as soon as possible. I really need to meet you and start the healing process – for both of us. Sincerely, The Unknown Blogger
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Thinking of Alanis

katy2.jpgI know I pick on Katy Perry a bit and I was going to let this one go but is it just me or does her single, "Thinking of You" sound like she's trying to sing like Alanis Morissette?  If you've not heard it you can catch a listen at katyperry.com. I still don't get the attraction to her, musically. I mean she's hot and all but are her followers really relating to her beyond the girl power schtick? Katy writes on her website, "People want to hear artists who are themselves, but who do interesting things and sing about them in an interesting way that maybe they have tried to conceive but couldn't. I get a lot of girls who come up to me and say, 'When I heard 'Thinking of You,' I felt that way to a T, but I never knew anyone who could put my feelings into words.' I think that's why people find me relatable." So no one has ever captured the sentiments expressed in "Thinking of You" and singing it like Alanis Morissette is interesting?  Really?
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What's In Your iPod?

fire.gifKelly Clarkson's latest single, "My Life Would Suck Without You" is on the iTunes top ten downloads list, Billboard's top ten list and probably a dozen other lists we haven't even heard of.  In fact, one list you may not have heard of which lists Miss Clarkson at the number one spot, just happens to be my little top ten list - Artists/Songs That Completely Suck Mud. "My Life Would Suck Without You."  Really Miss Clarkson?  Funny but I was kind of thinking my life sucks WITH you.  Actually, that's not a fair statement.  My life sucks just a little bit more due to the constant bombardment by musical geniuses like Kelly Clarkson, Katy Perry, The Pussycat Dolls, The Killers, etc. etc.  So it's not all Kelly's fault. The Killers and their latest single, "Human," contains the lyrics "Are we human or are we dancer?"  WHAT THE HELL IS THAT?  Rumor has it that the Killers originally wanted to sing "Are we hemorrhoids or are we hamsters" but were afraid nobody would understand that so instead went with something that made more sense. Right.  Thank the Lord baby Jesus that their record label also nixed the lyrics “Are they hamsters gnawing on our hemorrhoids?”  Ouch. Not all music in the top 20 sucks and I certainly don't expect everyone to agree with my taste in music. But it would be helpful to me to understand why people like who they like because sometimes I just don't get it. Can you help me?  Will you tell me which artists you like and why? I'll even promise that if you can change my mind about Kelly and Katy and the like, presuming that's who you like, I'll light my paper bag on fire. I think that's fair. “Light my fire light my fire light my fire!”
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U2 Talks to God

nloth4.jpgGod, I’m going down I don’t wanna drown now Meet me in the sound Let me in the sound Let me in the sound Let me in the sound, sound Let me in the sound, sound Meet me in the sound Get on your boots Get on your boots Get on your boots Yeah hey hey U2 - "Get On Your Boots" Wow. Pretty bad... and that's just the lyrics. The new song "Get On Your Boots" is U2's latest track from their yet to be released album, "No Line On The Horizon." If the rest of the album is anything like their preview single, "Get On Your Boots," we're all going to need plenty of boots to wade through all this U2 pooh. By the way, I'm a longtime U2 fan so this latest effort by the boys is a bit of a disappointment. If you want to judge for yourself, take a listen here. The first 10 seconds of "Get On Your Boots" is filled with promise as Edge's fuzzy guitar riff pumps along with a blazing drum line from Larry Mullen Jr. but then the whole song proceeds to fragment into boring noise. Explaining the creative process of making "No Line On The Horizon," Bono is quoted in a recent interview with Rolling Stone as saying, "It's a very strange feeling. We're waiting for God to walk into the room - and God, it turns out, is very unreliable. ... But what you can do is create the condition where it might happen." Gosh. I'm going to go out on a limb here and bet that God didn't show up during the recording of "Boots." One time God walked into my bathroom and told me my dead alcoholic uncle Sylvester was doing fine in heaven and still enjoys a drink or two or three but in heaven you don't ever get a hangover and you almost never pass out drunk on the floor in the heaven's men's room. Sweet! Anyway. "No Line On The Horizon" is due out March 3, 2009 in the U.S. Tone-deaf fans can pre-order a copy here. Maybe there's time to fix the album before it's released but U2 is going to need some help. So. God. If you're listening... could you talk to Bono and the boys and throw them a bone? Kind of like when you helped out Katy Perry with that smash hit, "I Kissed a Girl"! Yeah hey hey!
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Britney Forever!

britney.jpgSay what you want about Britney Spears, but you gotta give the girl credit – no matter how much she’s been through, she just won’t go away.  She’s like a booger on the tip of your finger that you can’t seem to flick off no matter how hard you try. We all remember her quasi comeback in 2007 at the MTV Video Music Awards and her bulging belly in a black bikini.  The press railed on her about that performance but did that stop her? She then proceeded to have a mental meltdown, take driving lessons from her two toddlers Sean and Jayden, go to rehab, buy a pair of underwear, etc.  Was she down for the count then? Like the Energizer Bunny, she just kept going and going and going. Last year she found her way back into a gym and a music studio.  Now she’s back in shape and her single “Womanizer” from her latest CD “Circus” was her first top five start on the Billboard Hot 100. Britney’s new tour, “The Circus Starring Britney Spears,” kicks off March 3rd in New Orleans and you can bet it will live up to its name.  Crack the whip Britney and don’t forget the underwear!
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Most OVERRATTED Bands or Artists

If you’re a fan of one these bands or artists…sorry…but they are waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaay overblown. Hype doesn’t equal talent. And sometimes the opportunity to do drugs amongst a large group of people can cause humans to listen to nearly anything and act like they dig it…for instance—- Dave Matthews- Every song sounds the same. U2- OK go ahead, name one good song since 1987. Rihanna- This stuff is embarrassing. White Stripes- One of those bands that people feel they have to say they like in fear of being uncool. Rush- What are these mullet-headed Canadians singing about? Big and Rich- If you have any respect at all for country music anymore, these guys are blasphemy. It must take all the liquor in Nashville for someone like Vince Gill to hand them a “Best New performer” award at the CMA’s.
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Overrated Songs

Hi there. It's me again, the MIX 94.7 Unknown Blogger. I’m usually an angry guy and today is no exception. Today I’m angry about music. I’m not angry AT music…I love music…let me be more specific. I’m angry about the songs you hear all the time because people claim they love them. The songs that chicks that drank too much stand up at a stadium and go “woooooooooh” when they come over the loudspeaker…or the songs every guy claims to love because they’re afraid they’ll seem uncool if they don’t. So here’s the list of the Unknown Blogger’s MOST OVERRATED SONGS OF ALL TIME. Sweet Home Alabama OK this song does begin with a fierce guitar riff…HOWEVER…have you ever one time really paid attention to the words? “In Birmingham they love the Governor.” Any idea who that refers to? At the time the song was out the Gov of Alabama was none other than George Wallace, one of the biggest racists in history…he’s the one who tried to stand in the way PERSONALLY and not allow a black student to enter the University of Alabama. And the line “Watergate does not bother me.” No it was perfectly fine for us to have a thievin’, lyin’, criminal in the White House named Richard Nixon. Oh, and sweet home Alabama. have you ever been to Alabama? Stairway to Heaven This song is supposed to be the defining moment in classic rock history. HUMBUG. It’s long, overblown and not close to being the best song Led Zep ever did. Every one claims to love it, especially guys…they fear they’ll have to turn in their man card if they don’t say so. BUT, in a research project done in Philadelphia, a hot bed for classic rock, nearly two-thirds of all listeners punched out the station within seconds of Stairway to Heaven hitting the airwaves. In the Air Tonight It was cool when it was out. But so was dressing like Don Johnson, and that ain’t cool anymore either. And nobody, not even Phil Collins, has any idea what the song was about. It’s just 80’s cheese at it’s finest, or in UB’s opinion, worst. Born To Run I ain’t hatin’ on The Boss. But this song is so, so, soooooooooooooooooooooooooo cheezy! That line that goes somethin’ like “the boulevard is full of broken heroes on a last chance power drive.” OH GOD. New Jersey had the gall to vote this their state song. And they wonder why everybody makes fun of New Jersey.
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