Zappos.com, the online source for clothing, handbags, slippers and other overpriced stuff, was recently hacked, exposing account information for millions of its customers. While it is too early to tell who zapped Zappos or their motives, noted German-born, cyber security expert Gunther Von Leaderhosen speculates, “Unt my opinion is zee culprit das not like vearing expensive slippers!”
Gunther, now living in New Braunfels, Texas went on to comment that the Zappos hackers made off with over 24 million customer records and that the only common factor among all compromised accounts was that each customer had paid too much for a pair of moccasins and or slippers and that they like to wear them out in public. Gunther, struggling to find the words in English, stated in his native tongue, “Meine Wolle Unterwäsche machen meine Nüsse jucken.” I’m not 100% sure what this means but using the German I learned in high school I believe the translation is, “Wearing wool underwear makes my Schwanzstucker itch.” Okay… not sure what that has to do with who hacked Zappos.com but Gunther must have his reasons for sharing that awesome piece of information.
Curious, I checked out the slipper selection at Zappos.com and was shocked to see some of them going for as high as $110 a pair. While I don’t know what the high cost of moccasins and slippers have to do with the resent security breach at Zappos.com, it does kind of explain why I’ve seen a lot of adults wearing them in public, in broad daylight, and presumably of sound mind. But then again, if I paid $110 for slippers, I to would get my money’s worth and wear them as much as possible, including while shopping for veggies and for sure during my five-minute lovemaking sessions.