William Johnson of Clear Lake Michigan was not having much luck finding his soul mate via online dating sites, gun conventions or the local model airplane club he attends weekly. In fact, William was so disappointed he couldn’t meet the right girl that he decided to try his luck with female raccoons instead. “I just couldn’t find the perfect match for me,” said William, “So a friend of mine suggested I try RaccoonHarmony.com and boy was I glad I did.”
William posted his profile on RaccoonHarmony.com and was immediately contacted by several eager beaver candidates. William states they all seemed very nice but the one that stood out for him among the pack was Rachel. “Except for her fear of guns, Rachel and I have a lot in common,” said the jovial Mr. Johnson. Apparently William and Rachel love to take long walks and poops in the park and woods near William’s condo as well as foraging through neighbor’s trash cans looking for table scraps and model glue.