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Heather Rivera
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The Unknown Blogger

Posts from June 2014

Fo' Shizzle My Pizzle
The Texas Attorney General’s Office recently filed a civil suit against some employees of an Austin, Texas grocer, MT Supermarket, for allegedly improperly labeling and selling pizzle, or more fondly referred to as beef penis. What, what?

I didn’t even know that pizzle existed. Okay, that’s not entirely true. I do recall my first pizzle proposition but it was a long time ago and I firmly told the bull that I just wanted to be friends and that homie didn’t play that game.

In any event, you all jonesin’ for some pizzle will have to get it the ol’ fashion way – call Pizza Hut for their Pizzle Pizza Supreme, available now for a limited time only.
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Locations: AustinTexas

Man Arrested for Indecency with a Donut
Today is National Donut Day – a day when police officers everywhere can feel a little less guilty for eating inordinate amounts of donuts while the bad guys roam free. But please be warned that National Donut Day does not necessarily mean free donuts for all as Mr. Bob Polanco of Cucamonga, California would find out.

In celebration of National Donut Day, Bob visited his local donut shop and proceeded to help himself to donuts behind the shop counter thinking National Donut Day meant free donuts. Sally Peterman, who works the morning shift at Danny’s Donuts, called police when she noticed Mr. Polanco licking un-paid donuts in what she described as “a disturbingly suggestive manner.” Sally called the police after Bob was caught behind the counter licking and eating donuts and refusing to pay. “Who tongues the hole of a donut before they eat it? That’s just gross” said Sally. Mr. Polanco said that although he regrets the misunderstanding, what goes on between and man and a consenting donut is nobody’s business and that next time he’ll buy the donuts first and then take them to a hotel room like a normal person.
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Locations: California
People: Bob PolancoSally Peterman

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