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The Unknown Blogger




Love Thy Neighbor, Hate Their Dog

yappydog.jpgThe neighbors that live next door to me have a pair of small dogs that bark 24/7. Actually, the dogs don't have a real bark - it's more like a "YAP!" "YAP, YAP, YAPYAP, YAP, YAPYAP, YAPYAP, YAP, YAP!" I just pulled a chunk of hair off of my head just thinking about them. I don't mind that the neighbor's dogs bark - they are dogs and dogs bark - I get it. What I don't understand is why anyone would let their dogs bark for hours on end and not be annoyed. So as to protect their identity, I'll fictitiously refer to the neighbors as the Dunderheads and to their dogs as Yapper1 and Yapper2. Yapper1 and Yapper2 are the kind of dogs who need no excuse to yap. I could understand if the incessant yapping was due to me climbing over the Dunderhead's fence naked with my hair on fire holding a pitch fork which I have thought of doing after being driven to the brink of insanity due to their yapping. But no, they seem to yap just to yap. I mean try as I may, I can't get inside their little heads to understand why they constantly freaking yap but it probably goes something like, "hey, our idiot owners are the Dunderheads, YAP, YAP! Look at us, we're outside... YAP, YAP, YAP, YAP!" Yapper1 says, "hey Yapper2, look at me. I have a dingleberry stuck on my fur!" To which Yapper2 replies, "HA, HA, YAPYAP, HA, YAP, YAP!" And then they both happily run around the Dunderheads backyard for hours singing, "YAP, YAP, YAP, YAP, YAP, YAP, YAP, YAP, YAP, YAP, YAP, YAP, YAP, YAP, YAP, YAP, YAP, YAP, YAP, YAP, YAP, YAP, YAP, YAP, YAP, YAP, YAP, YAP, YAP, YAP, YAP, YAP, YAP, YAP, YAP, YAP, YAP, YAP... YAP, YAP!" If you've ever had a similar situation where your neighbors are idiots with 24/7 yapping dogs, then I'm sure you've contemplated many hideous scenarios of how you could rid yourself of them forever. I use to focus solely on how to get rid of the yappers but I kid you not, these are not the first pair of yappers the Dunderheads have owned. Before Yapper1 and Yapper2 there were Yapper0 and Yapper00. After years of tormenting the neighborhood, Yapper0 and Yapper00 mysteriously disappeared and no, I had nothing to do with it. For weeks thereafter I enjoyed the peace and serenity that comes with being able to sit in my backyard silently experiencing nature as God intended. You can imagine my surprise when weeks later Yapper0 and Yapper00 were replaced with Yapper1 and Yapper2. C'mon!!! Not all freaking dogs yap so what are the odds they can or would find another pair of yapping dogs more annoying than the first pair of yappers? I realize now that I must focus all my energy on not just getting rid or the yappers but the Dunderheads as well. Stay tuned for another post outlining my glorious plan.



 
01/26/2009 3:40PM
Love Thy Neighbor, Hate Their Dog
Please Enter Your Comments Below
04/11/2009 8:34AM
BOB G.
There have to be thousands, probably tens of thousands of us driven to the brink by incessant, barking neighbor dogs. I too have a yapper 1 and yapper 2 adjacent to my home. And I too can not enjoy my backyard patio. Why this particular form of excruciating nuisance is the OLY form of disturbing the peace that goes unchecked and unpunished by law enforcement makes no sense. If there were two people in the neighbor's yard yelling, "HEY, HEY, HEY HEY, HEY, HEY, HEY HEY 24/7. . . they would be stopped with a single call to authority. But non stop barking? NO! This is not humanly tolerable, yet we can get no relief from our so called, "Peace Officers" SHEEESH!!!
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