As cockroaches are the most likely inhabitants of the Earth post 12/21/12, I decided to interview an ordinary cockroach I found roaming the streets. I was hoping for some thought-provoking insights of the impending apocalypse and I must say I was somewhat disappointed. Here is an excerpt from the exclusive interview.
Unknown Blogger: Excuse me Mr. Cockroach but I was hoping I could ask you a few questions about the end of the world.
Mr. Cockroach: Well, I was hoping to get started on the chicken wing I see over there but yeah, I have some time.
Unknown Blogger: Awesome. So will the world end on 12/21/12?
Mr. Cockroach: Yes.
Unknown Blogger: Would you care to expand on that a little bit more?
Mr. Cockroach: Um, I’d really like to get started on that chicken wing.
Unknown Blogger: I see. What if I bring you the chicken wing and you can get started on it while I ask you more questions?
Mr. Cockroach: That would save me a lot of crawling. Thanks.
Unknown Blogger: So is there anything we can do to stop the world from ending?
Mr. Cockroach: [munching on the chicken wing with its “mouth” full] Buy a new calendar at Barns & Noble. Just cuz the Mayan calendar ended doesn’t mean the world has to end.
Unknown Blogger: Wow! Thanks. I’ll let you finish your chicken wing and I can run and tell the world.
Mr. Cockroach: Whatever, dumbass.