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Heather Rivera
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The Unknown Blogger




Grammys, Gerber and Baby Bieber

Justin Bieber was nominated for a Grammy in the New Artist category. Seriously? By "New Artist" did the Grammys mean not talented but newly born? Not that the Grammys have any credibility in picking out talented artist in the music business, but nominating Justin Bieber for anything other than poster child for Gerber is like nominating Lindsay Lohan for the Mother Teresa of the Year award. And no I'm not disqualifying Bieber simply because he hasn't hit puberty yet. He could be old enough to grow peach fuzz and I'd still think he'd suck. The New Artist award instead went to 26-year-old jazz musician Esperanza Spalding. I have it from one of my many unreliable sources who was at the Grammys that upon hearing the news he didn't win, baby Justin threw himself on the floor and started kicking and screaming, "Esperanza is a pooh-pooh head!!!" If Baby Bieber's tantrum wasn't enough, in protest his thousands of prepubescent fans broke curfew and took to Esperanza's Wikipedia page where they wrote in numerous potty humor jokes and scribbled all over it in Crayons. But Bieber is a smart little boy and sees how the game is played. After his tantrum, his manager gave him a lollipop and a banana and Bieber dried his tears and vowed to win a Grammy next year by arriving to the ceremonies in a giant egg. I can't wait.
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