I managed to get an exclusive phone interview with Lady Gaga and it turns out her and I have a lot in common. She likes to wear meat and I like to eat it. She loves high heel shoes and I love watching her try and perform in them. And, we both look great in a thong. Here is a little bit of the interview:
Unknown Blogger: Hi Lady Gaga. Thanks for taking the time to talk to me.
Gaga: Of course UB. I’d do anything for a man who wears a brown paper bag. You are a man, right?
Unknown Blogger: Let me check… yes, I’m a man.
Gaga: I think the paper bag is hot. Do you wear it during love making?
Unknown Blogger: That’s kind of a personal question. I don’t think I should answer that.
Gaga: Would you wear it if you and I made love together?
Unknown Blogger: [GULP]
Gaga: So why do you wear a paper bag? Are you not attractive or disfigured…?
Unknown Blogger: Oh no… I’m very attractive. Some people say I look like Woody Allen.
Gaga: I don’t know UB… I don’t think Woody Allen is very attractive.
Unknown Blogger: Maybe Woody should wear a paper bag over his head?
Unknown Blogger: Not to change the subject but can we talk about high heel shoes?
Gaga: Sure. Do you wear high heel shoes?
Unknown Blogger: Sometimes when I drink too much Jägermeister, I like dance to your music wearing nothing but a thong and high heels.
Gaga: Oh my God! That sounds hot. You sound like a naughty little monster. Not that it matters but are you gay?
Unknown Blogger: Let me check… no. I just love your music, thongs and high heels.
Gaga: Nothin’ wrong with that UB.
Unknown Blogger: I notice you fall on your ass a lot while wearing high heels. Would you ever give up your high heels for something safer and low to the ground like some Soiree flats?
Gaga: Are you being mean to me UB? I don’t fall all the time and no, I’ll never give up my high heels. I say go high or go home.
Unknown Blogger: Go high or go home. I love that… and I love you but I gotta leave you cuz our time is up. Thanks for talking to me.
Gaga: Any time UB and can you send me a picture of you in high heels wearing a thong with a paper bag on your head? That would be hot.
Unknown Blogger: Let me get some Jägermeister and I’ll see what I can do.