Timeout
by Unknown Blogger
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posted Oct 31 2011 3:37PM
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 Similar to sports, I wish life came with a certain number of timeouts that we could use when life becomes a royal pain in the ass.
So like when your boss calls you on the phone with that sucks-to-be-you tone of voice, telling you to come to his office because he/she has something to discuss with you. So you show up and he/she proceeds to tell you that you’re being let go due to budget cuts and if you could clear out your stuff within the next five minutes.
You’re escorted out of the building by security and they tell you to “take care.” You’re tempted to use a timeout but you wait.
You arrive at your home hoping for some sympathy from your husband/wife/boyfriend/girlfriend only to find half your belongings are missing. Confused, you’re just about ready to call the police thinking you’ve been robbed when you notice a note on the kitchen table. It’s from your husband/wife/boyfriend/girlfriend of seven years indicating they are leaving you because they’ve decided they’re gay and want to move in with their gay lover whom they’ve been seeing for the past six years. Be strong.
Just then the electricity cuts off along with your air conditioner and its 104 degrees outside. You forgot to pay your bill and now that you’re broke you couldn’t pay it if you wanted to.
You begin to sweat and start to cry when you notice a foul smell coming from somewhere in your home. Looking around you realize your dog "Snowball" has died and is lying in your hallway.
Just then you grab your side in pain as your peptic ulcer is acting up again, no doubt brought on by the recent events. You want to call your doctor but now you don't have any health insurance.
So there you are, thinking your life now has all the makings of a hit coutry western song as you scream, "TIMEOUT!"
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