Photo by USA Today


April 16, 2016

Donald Trump thinks the political delegate system is "rigged" and otherwise unfair. Boohoo, Donald. Boohoo. I'm not a Donald Trump supporter and politics aside, here are a couple other things that are unfair.

Trump probably sipped Champaign today from a gold chalice. I sipped water today from a plastic cup.

Trump travels around the world in his private jet. I got to work today in my 1972 AMC Gremlin.

Trump is married to a beautiful model from Slovenia. Women won't date me because I wear a paper bag on my head and drive a 1972 AMC Gremlin.

Donald is a billionaire. One time I won $3 from the Texas Lotto.